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Angela
Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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My husband had a 3 year affair which ended in December, he

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My husband had a 3 year affair which ended in December, he now tells me he doesnt know if he wants to be married. It is a rollercoaster and I want to get off. I don't know how to get him to talk, go to therapy or anything. I am silent and so is he. I moved for the second time to another bedroom. I am tired of the ride I want to either get it fixed or get off I just don't know how to talk to him. Can u help me please?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

During this difficult time, I would suggest sitting him down for one final talk. Talk to him when the two of you will not be disturbed. Explain to him how you feel about him along with the devastating pain you have endured in light of his affair. Further explain to him that you need to know if he is willing to work on your marriage to repair the damage and intense pain that he has caused in it. Ask him will he commit to going to couple's counseling and if he says no, I think you should consider leaving him and to do so (-if you are comfortable with that) because you deserve far better than this. He selfishly has had an affair which unquestionably has caused you intense emotional and mental pain. Then he continues to say he doesn't know if he wants to be married which further adds to your intense pain....meanwhile he has no regard or accountability for how terribly and deeply he has hurt you. This is why I suggest having one final talk with him and then take action from there because it is not healthy to continue on with this marriage in its current state due to the emotional and mental harm it is causing you.
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