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Angela
Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Please help me!!!!!!!!!! My husband paid money on a dirty

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Please help me!!!!!!!!!! My husband paid money on a dirty site to type to women what he wanted to see them do and watched SEVERAL women and spent 100 plus dollars and didnt tell me...... I found it on my laptop................ he was going to "sit me down adn tell me last night" but I beat him to the chase when I was looking to find something shady that he was doing and I was right........ he says "thats fantasy and you are reality" he says he loves me and he didnt even "get it up or jerk off" when watching any of them........ but he loves me............ I cant trust him anymore or believe him about anything.......... what should I do.............. I feel so broken and I'm not kidding.......... I already have body issues and to know he was CONSTANLTY DURING OUR MARRIAGE looking at sluts........ who are skinny and "perfect" and talk dirty like he likes........ I just dont know waht to do or how to trust him ever again
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 4 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

I think that it is great that he wants to go to counseling because it sounds as if he is dealing with an addiction to porn. Also, I think you should go with him to counseling because it is only natural that you feel you cannot trust him or believe him based upon feeling betrayed by him. Your feelings are 100% valid and going to counseling could help him deal with his porn addiction and help him to see how deeply he has hurt and betrayed you along with having him be fully accountable for his actions. Also, counseling could help both of you repair the damage he has done to your marriage and your marriage could end up being healthier, stronger, and more fulfilling than it was before.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Look............ I put him through alot of stuff............ ALOT............. I didnt cheat but I was talking to this one guy as a friend ONLY no flirting at all since I got engaged and married my now "husband"............ anyway.............. I need you to know this so maybe he is doing it in his subconcious like he is getting back to me.............. the thing is he didnt get off on teh stuff so is it still an addication.......... he said he sometimes saw them and compared them to me and how I did things better than them............... I just.......... I'm so lost and I need help.................. I changed his pin and got onto his site and found ALL the girls he has talked to........... he called them "hunni" and "baby" I told him those were sacrid names and not to call them to me anymore.......... he said with them it was slang but with me its real...................... I just............ I do love him........... I do........ or else I'd have packed a bag gone to a hotel and found anotehr place to live and get divorce papers............. is this natural in a marriage??? its only been 4 months since we've been married...................... how am I not good enough already??????????????? Oh... Even though he says I am...............??????????
Expert:  Angela replied 4 years ago.
It is possible that he began this behavior to get back at you in his subconscious, however, it sounds like it has become an addiction. An addiction to porn is not contingent on whether he actually gets stimulated by the porn, a porn addiction is based upon him not being able to control his behavior of accessing/watching the porn. This is why I think couple's counseling would be the right choice because if he opens up in counseling it could help you both work through this painful issue as well as having him to honestly answer your questions about what the reasons are which led him to his porn addiction so early into your marriage.
Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience: n/a
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