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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  n/a
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I have a 9 month relationship with a fairly newly divorced

Customer Question

I have a 9 month relationship with a fairly newly divorced man. Busy schedules, we see each other 2-3 a month, long phone talks several times per week. He has,on occaission, problems with erectile dysfunction. This is always followed by a period of total coolness towards me. Additionally, the divorce followed a 25 year marriage, ended by the wife after she inherited quite a bit of money (he had been the main wage earner)

I think working through this is difficult even for people with a long history together- it's so sensitive- and it really doesn't seem up for discussion. I guess I'm not sure if there's any hope for us?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

I think there is hope for your relationship, however, I also don't think your friend has had enough time to fully get over the divorce if you have been dating for 9 months and he has been recently divorced from a 25 year marriage. If your friend wanted the divorce or if he did not want the divorce, either way he needs time to get over it and heal due to spending 25 years of his life in the marriage. Additionally, erectile dysfunction is a sensitive issue for most men to talk about which is probably why he becomes cool or cold toward you when and after it occurs. Therefore, I think as he continues to heal from the divorce that your relationship will improve and that eventually he will be open to you further talking about his erectile dysfunction when it occurs instead of becoming cold towards you. Here is an article which offers further understanding and tips in dealing with erectile dysfunction, click here.

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