Thank you for your reply. I feel the key challenge is that my wife has no desire to 'fix' the problem. So in essence we have 2 challenges 1) Total lack of libido 2) Lack of desire to address the lack of libido. This makes it very difficult to progress. All the counsellors we have approached have been my idea, all the books and online help have come from me. My wife simply wants to be accepted for how she is. My personal opinion is that she would find more happiness and joy in our relationship if we experienced affection, romance and passion. In other words I feel that what she states is her 'normal' self, is actually inhibiting her capacity for joy and happiness.
Am I wrong to think that? Should I be looking for ways of accepting her for who she is rather than encouraging change?