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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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After being divorced for 5 years, my ex husband has decided

Customer Question

After being divorced for 5 years, my ex husband has decided he is in LOVE with me and wants me to feel the same way. He won't give up SHOWING ME HIS LOVE no matter what I say. He has even told our kids how he feels. I haven't had anytime to decided how I feel except his crazy behavior is starting to feel very uncomfortable. Almost like he is stocking me. I am just (after all this time) starting to date. And I haven't told him because I don't think it is any of his business. He seems to be tracking me down by phone, text or email. He has created a facebook (because I have one), Linked In (because I have one), and now got on the same dating website (he said it was coincidental - but I am freaked out that he was find me on the site). I have asked him for SPACE so I can figure this out. Tonight he asked me to come over for pizza and movie. I need advice on how to get my point across to him.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 7 years ago.
Your ex husband's behavior is inappropriate especially since he chose to cross so many boundaries, including emailing you at your work email address. When you see him tonight, I would recommend having one final talk with him. During this talk once again use your own words and look him in the eye and with a calm and patient tone tell him how you feel about him (-which isn't the same as how he feels about you). Also, tell him once again to no longer email, text you, or call you unless it is only pertaining to your children. Tell him in reference to your work email, not to every use that again because he has violated your workplace rules by sending you an inappropriate personal email. Be sure that he understands that you no longer want any contact from him unless it only pertains to your children. The purpose of you telling him all of the above face to face is to ensure on your end that he fully understands your requirements from this point forward. Next, be sure to document the time and date of this conversation and the details for your own notes. Then if he continues to pursue you in the same manner, at that time I would recommend filing a police report to begin to have a legal trail of his inappropriate behavior towards you being documented with the police department. If you file a police report, share with them the history of his behavior towards you and how you sat down with him one final time clearly explaining your desire to be left alone unless it pertains to your children etc. and you should give them the date from this conversation you will have with him tonight and show them how you even briefly jotted down the points you covered with him to ensure that he understands how you feel.

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