How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Jennifer Your Own Question

Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
30853534
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Jennifer is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Ask Jennifer. I am still with the married girl but I have

Resolved Question:

Ask Jennifer. I am still with the married girl but I have finally figured her out. It took a while but I did. I have noticed that it is all about her. Saying things like you dont care when my ex gets served the papers to tonight I need to take my daughter to er and u dont care. Now I have noticed some really bad qualities. For one she wanted to go out to eat and she said I will pay. Then the bill came and she said I will pay half. I dont care about the bill. This girl says stuff that she does not mean. Number two she said her father would put the down payment on the house since he is moving so he can get his money. I said what if I dont want to live with your brother and she said well thats a decision u have to make. Then she changed her mind and said she wants to live with me. Third, she sends me a text today saying shes going to a Met game tomorrow night and we had plans. She told her friend yes wo asking me. She told me that she does need anybodys permission. Jennifer please tell me what she is thinking. I told her that I might not be around sat now. She thinks I am being spiteful. I am tired of the same bs I get from her. Now she cares what I am doing.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com!

This sounds familiar... You'd noticed before that her actions tend to be a little self-centered. I know in the past you've mentioned she tends to want things from you yet gives very little. It sounds like this pattern is continuing (or coming back?)

Some of these comments are concerning... Particularly about living with her brother instead of living with you. Making that decision without consulting you and then changing her mind tells me she's not feeling entirely secure in your long-term plans together. Ask her if she has any fears about your future and how committed she's feeling at this point to having a future together.

You have every right to feel disrespected by the decisions she's making (and lack of communication on the matters). She's back to running the show and needs to be reminded that it's the two of you now. The best way to do this, of course, is through honest communication. Don't play games by telling her you might not be around on Saturday. Of course she cares what you're doing now -- She's not the one in control! The idea isn't to make the relationship a power play, though. You don't want to get caught up in trying to gain control from one another. Sit down and talk about how it's not just you anymore and it's not just her. If you're going to be together, you make decisions as a couple and you consult one another on the major issues. You respect each other's space and time with friends, but you also respect when you've already made plans by not breaking them. This is an important talk to have. See if she wants to have a relationship with you where you're on equal ground and discuss what you'll need to do to get there.
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience: Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
Jennifer and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
320 Satisfied Customers
Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.