How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Paige Your Own Question

Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1381
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
15718554
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Paige is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my question is my girlfriend ex witch the have a child together,

Resolved Question:

my question is my girlfriends ex, witch they have a child together, his mom molested him when he was in his early teens. the police got involed and she got charged and everything. he is now in his mid 20s and hangs out with is mom, alone and acts like its not a big deal, he also would like his daughter to very much around his mom and be apart of her life, me and my girlfriend dont want her daughter to have any part in his moms life. am i wrong for thinking its weird that #1 he wants anypart of his moms life let alone Hang out with her alone, and #2 trying to let his Daughter be around he?. me personaly i wouldnt take the chance. like i said i think its way weird.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Paige replied 4 years ago.

Given the history with your girlfriend's ex and his mom, I could definitely see why both you and your girlfriend would be apprehensive about allowing his mom to see their daughter.

 

I think what needs to happen, although it may seem like it would be uncomfortable, is that your girlfriend (or, MAYBE both you your girlfriend) need to sit down with the child's father and have a serious conversation about the whole situation. Now, you may have already spoken with him about this, perhaps informally, and/or argumentatively, but this is a delicate situation which needs to be handled very carefully and maturely, perhaps over dinner or at least a cup of coffee. There is a good chance that the child's father has repressed a lot of what happened, or that it makes him very uncomfortable. He may simply not want to accept that it has happened, and wishes to live a normal life (you only get one mother) and share the joy of his child with her, forgiving her and turning a blind eye to what has happened in the past. There is no way to know how his psyche is currently dealing with that situation.

 

To answer your question, no, you are not wrong for thinking its weird and for not wanting to allow this. If he has forgiven her then perhaps you and your girlfriend should search your hearts for that same forgiveness, because on one hand, the victim (your girlfriend's ex) was a male teenager when the events occurred, and from what I gather the child in this situation is a female infant. His mother obviously served her time and probably learned her lesson. However, on the other hand, yes, it is a creepy and terrible thing that she did, and as a parent you do not want your child around someone capable of such disgusting acts. Only you both can weigh out the options (after speaking with her ex) and see what you come up with after careful thought and consideration.

 

If it were me, I would allow only limited supervised visits, meaning your girlfriend should be there when his mother visits with the baby.

 

If I have answered your question, please click the accept button. :-)

Thank you in advance and good luck with everything.

Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1381
Experience: Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
Dr. Paige and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige
Counselor
1381 Satisfied Customers
Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist