How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Jennifer Your Own Question

Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
30853534
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Jennifer is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Ask Jennifer. The ex had texted me that she wanted to talk

Resolved Question:

Ask Jennifer. The ex had texted me that she wanted to talk in person. Of coarse I agreed but not right away. I told her that there is somebody else and she was ok with that until we spoke. The new girl I am not really attracted to and I found out a couple of things (qualities that she possesses) that will be a turn off. So regarding the ex I think we found out why she shuts down from time to time. Is it possible that two people really care about each other too much and it gets scary that we both don't want to get hurt and then we just bail? In other words instead of taking a leap of faith we run for the hills. She said shes in love with me and does not want anyone else except me. She is sincere but I told her that we got to move forward in a healthy way. We both are insecure and need a lot of attention. When we are together things are awesome its when we are apart thats the tough part. Is there a way of handling this? I just cant move on. Care about her too much.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.
At a time when things are going well and neither of you are upset, sit down together and cone up with a plan to prevent her from shutting down. It's certainly possible that the intensity of it all is scary enough to make one or both of you run for the hills. How can you make each other feel more secure?? I'm most concerned about how she's going to meet your needs -- explain to her what her support would look like to you; how will you know she's there for you? By telling her exactly what you need, there will be less confusion in that area. Come to an agreement that instead of pulling the plug on the relationship when things get bumpy, you'll take some time to cool off (few hours? A day?) then come back to the table to do some creative problem solving together. The problems are never just hers or yours. They belong to both of you and will take both of you to reach effective solutions. If you're going to try this again, continue being open and honest with one another. Go slowly, too... I still think she needs time before she can make herself fully available to you and your relationship. As long as you know that, it might not be a problem.
Jennifer and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Related Relationship Questions