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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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I feel like I am going crazy and Im not sure if it is me.

Resolved Question:

I feel like I am going crazy and I'm not sure if it is me. Here is my story. I had an affair after 16 years of marriage with a man, who was also married. We eventually got divorced from our spouses and married-married for a year but have know each other for a total of 2.5 years. During our affair I found out he had kissed a coworker at a New Years eve party, had phone sex with a few other partners and was addicted to porn. He got over his issue and keeps it under control and honoris me with his heart and eyes. Eyes meaning he bounces his eyes away from tv images and woman to avoid precipitating a sexual thought. Throughout the healing process there were struggles. We had a few episodes (3 or 4) of impotence. During this time he did not disclose to me that he had ordered an over the counter erection medicine and tried to masturbate to see if it worked. he also inadvertantly lied to my son about something stupid. My problem I don't trust him and I'm insanely jealous. Help
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.

Welcome to Just Answers. I'll do my best to provide you with a personal,and professional answer to your question.

It sounds to me like he's slipping on his program, and might need some help right now. If he's in a peer 12 step program ( SA or SLAA), he needs to speak with his buddies or sponsor about this. You can benefit from S-Anon so that you can talk to other ladies in your position - with spouses both in and out of recovery. You'll learn how to trust your gut about your worries and to speak about your fears to him. When something like this goes on with a couple, your gut picks up all kinds of signs, but you don't always know what they are, so your mind gets obsessed. Going down the jealousy road will drive you nuts and have no positive benefit. Before this goes much further, get some help - either online or with a counselor.


Reading the articles on the site above will help you a great deal.

My best to you.

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