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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1699
Experience:  PHD LPC
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well a lot has happened you were right about getting another

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well a lot has happened you were right about getting another chance to go out with one of my bosses. WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT GOING OUT FOR COFFEE. BUT IT SEEMS TO AMUSE HIM THAT HE HAS TO SWEAT ME SOME. BUT THE OTHER DAY I REALLY FELT JEALOUS AND I CALLED HIM, HE GAVE ME HIS NUMBER. AND ASKED HIM WHY DOES HE TALK TO EVERYONE BUT M, BECAUSE WHEN HE HEARS ME HE ALWAYS COMES OUT BUT I DON'T GO AND TALK TO HIM IN HIS OFFICE WHEN I SEE HIM. I LEFT SEVERAL TEXT MESSAGE AND CALLED HIM AND HE HAS NOT CALLED ME BACK. I LEFT HIM 4 TEXT MESSAGES ASKING HIM WHY HE IS DOING THAT. IT IS AS IF HE WANT'S ME KNOW HOW HE HAS IT GOING ON. HIS FRIEND STATED HE WAS DOING SOMETHING WHEN YOU CALLED. SO NOW I AM EMBARASSED THAT I EVEN CALLED. I HAVE BEEN AVOIDING HIM. I THINK I MESSED UP BY DOING THAT BUT I AM STARTING TO SAY HE IS TOO HARD AND I AM NOT GOING TO CHASE. SOMETIMES I THINK IT AGITATES HIM THAT I DON'T CHASE AND HE WANTS TO SHOE ME A THING OR TWO. I AM SCARE TO SEE HIM NOW
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi, well this isn't much different than earlier, he isn't going to risk his position and chase. He flirts, talks etc but with you it's becoming a push/pull situation. So, if you want to go out with him that much then you are going to have to put it on the line and say what you want and need. He is never (and you know this) going to publicly admit (at least as long as you both work together)any feelings for you, everything in his work life that has to do with you will be covert. If you can handle it, like him enough to get to know him better then it's okay. Otherwise, don't bother with him anymore. You are fretting over a man and wasting good time and energy with no results.
Please click accept and leave feedback.
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1699
Experience: PHD LPC
Dr. Keane and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
you are right. the fact that he has given me his phone number is XXXXX more than he has done for other women but it is because i have not chased. he has been staying there everyday to see me but trying to act as if he is just staying around talking to people. one day he hung around for 1 hour talking to people and i just spoke and smiled. i felt a little jealous and sent him the text messages stating why are you talking to everyone but me and allowing me to see just how much you are desired. he has not replied and now i feel embarassed. i feel like i made a fool of myself by leaving those text messages because he did not return them. i noticed he called my house and did not leave a message. i am embarrased to see him because it is like i am chasing and he has the upper hand. i want someone who wants me and treats me like the princess that i deserve. YOU WERE RIGHT I DID GET ANOTHER CHANCE
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Good, glad to see you are realizing you deserve to be treated better. At first his "chase" seems flirty when in fact he loves the adoration and his ego is sounding larger and larger. He doesn't show the bravado of most self centered persons, he's passive about it, he is starting to sound like a real player. So, go find someone who will treat you like a princess, this man is not worth it. Good luck.!!!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

yes, i really like him because he is a catch but so am I. I think about all of the women who are trying to catch him and there are a lot. he wanted to take me out for dinner but i said coffee and a museum. one thing that i insisted was that he loved my animals and he just thinks i am just different. i am so scared to see him again because of what happened calling him so i have been getting here late just so i won't run into him but i cannot keep doing that since he stays late purposely to see me talking to other people so i can notice that. his friend hinted today that well i have not told him anything to claim him as mine but i just think that takes to much energy he should be trying to claim me. when i stated that he is to hard then his friend started getting smart with me stating that you know he could want a women who makes as much as you do or men like him are desired by many women some that make more money then you or as much as he does. i felt like he was trying to insult me because i was not even talking about him and talking about a few other people who are really great catchs. i stated that i would never get involved with any of the bosses and i felt that his friend got insulted by it. he was saying that well if you and a boss are attracted to one another why not go for it. then he was again trying to tell me to just come out and let him know what i want and i said NO HE NEEDS TO BE DOING THAT TO ME I AM THE PRINCESS AND THAT IS THE END OF IT. I AM JUST SO SCARED ABOUT RUNNING INTO HIM BUT I AM GOING TO HAVE TO FACE HIM SOON. AM I BEING UNREASONABLE BY SAYING NO I AM NOT DOING CERTAIN THINGS

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi, no you are not being unreasonable. He isn't sounding very appealing anymore is he???
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

a lot has happened since i spoke to you. one of my other female bosses started dating an male employee and he decided to break up with her she went crazy and keyed his vehicle and called him making threatening remarks. well he recorded it and now she is has lost her position maybe temporarily and may be put on leave of abscenceg. IT IS SO EMBARASSING FOR HER. I THOUGHT MAYBE THAT IS WHAT MY BOSS IS AFRAID OF AS HE HAS MENTIONED IT TO ME. because o what happened i am grateful that things are slow because i would not want to be put in that position and he would not because he has alot to lose. ALSO, HE JUST GOT ANOTHER TEMPORARY PROMOTION PUTTING HIM OVER AN ENTIRE AREA AND HAS A A REALLY BIG OFFICE. IT is strange though every since i decided to stay away he has been more bolder. each day i changed hours not to bump into him but it seems that he stays lately so he can find a way to run into me. also, lately each time i come in he always finds a way to be at the door when i come in so he can run into me to suddenly show up on the first floor when i first come in. he is really showing off now that he is the boss over the entire area. for the last week he always finds a way to call me up to his office to bring him copies and of course i can't say no because he is my boss. he runs off things at the desk stating that his printer is not working and then calls me to bring them upstairs. each time i just move as fast as possible. i don't understand there are so my other women who would love to do all this why doesn't he ask them but I CANNOT SAY THAT BECAUSE HE IS MY BOSS. I SEE JUST WHAT YOU MEAN. LATELY I HAVE BEEN STATING TO MY COWORKER THAT I AM DATING SOMEONE. HE KNOWS HE HAS THE UPPER HAND. I THINK THAT ME BACKING OFF IS CAUSING HIM TO GET BOLDER BUT I STILL HAVE TO WATCH HOW I HANDLE IT BECAUSE I WORK FOR IT. HE IS USE TO GETTING WHAT HE WANTS AND I CAN TELL. AM I THINKING THE RIGHT WAY

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi, you absolutely are thinking the right way. The more I hear about this guy the more I am inclined to suggest you stay away and move on. He sounds as though you are a game and he needs to win. His ego is amazing and you are a challenge. You really deserve more than this in a relationship. I know it's fun to flirt and be admired, even chased but I would almost bet once you "were with him" things would change and he would move on to the next challenge. I know you don't want to hear this but I see situations like this pretty frequently. Let me know how it proceeds and what you decide to so.
Please click accept and leave feedback.
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1699
Experience: PHD LPC
Dr. Keane and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
YES I HATE TO HEAR THAT BECAUSE HE WOULD BE A GOOD CATCH FOR ME BUT IT DOES NOT MATTER IF I CANNOT CATCH HIM. THE OTHER DAY HIS FATHER CAME IN TO SEE HIM IN HIS NEW LARGE OFFICE AND SO HE BROUGHT HIS FATHER OVER TO MEET ME. I THINK HIS FATHER KIND OF NEW WHO I WAS. I JOKINGLY SAID. I AM YOUR FUTHRE DAUGHTER II LAW AND HIS FATHER WAS REALLY LAUGHING. HIS FATHER SAID THAT I WAS REALLY A DOLL;. I WAS ENCOURAGING HIM TO TAKE HIS FATHER OUT TO EXERCISE AND HIS FATHER SAID YOU TWO NEED TO GO OUT. HIS DAD JUST KEPT SAYING WHAT I A DOLL I WAS AND I JUST LAUGHED. I WILL JUST CONTINUE TO STAY AWAY BUT HE IS MY BOSS AND HE THE UPPER HAND. HE LATELY HAS BEEN FINDING AN EXCUSE TO HANG AROUND AND SEE ME AND ALSO COME UP INTO HIS OFFICE. WHEN HE TALKS TO ME HE REFERS TO ME BY HIS FIRST NAME BUT I CHANGE IT TO BE MORE FORMAL. I AM JUST GOING TO KEEP LETTIN HIS FLIRT BUT AT THE SAME TIME KEEP GETTING FAR AWAY. IF HE WANTS ME HE WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING. BUT I UNDERSTANDING HE MAY BE SCARED BUT SO WHAT. AM I THINKING RIGHT
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi, you certainly are thinking right, except for the comment about him being a good catch, that I don't agree with at all. You deserve someone better.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i need to ask a heart to heart question. i was engaged to someone that broke off a year ago with. my mom had been in a nursing home for 5 years and he did not ever go and see her and stated at the end before she died that she did not know where she was. am i wrong for being angry at him and telling him i don't want him back. he thinks that i was overreacting but i think someone who loves you would want to see your mother. i treated his mother wonderful throughout our relationship giving his parents free tickets and other things. he does not understand why i don't want him or his parents because it upsets me ho he treated my mother. he also does not understand why i am angry that the night before i was having surgery for breast cancer he wanted me to drive and pick him up in my vehicle and i thought that he should not even be asking that of me during a time that i was fighting with a dangerous lifethreatening disease. he does not understand why i tell him to go to hell and get out of my face am i wrong for these angry feelings toward him
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

WELL A LOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE HAVE SPOKEN. THE SUPERVISOR I WAS SPEAKING ABOUT FINUALLY DID MAKE A MOVE. HE HAS BROUGHT MY LUNCH SEVERAL TIMES AND I CAN SEE WHY HE IS CAUTEOUS BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS IN TROUBLE FOR A SEXUAL HARASSMENT CASE. HE SNOOK AND KISSED ME AND I GOT VERY UPSET BECAUSE I TOLD HIM NOT TO DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE WE COULD GET CAUGHT. HE WAS SO SCARED AT FIRST SO WHY IS TAKING SUCH A SERIOUS CHANCE. I HAVE EXPLAINED TO HIM THAT HE HAS TO ASK ME OUT BUT HE SAYS WE HAVE TO BE VERY SECRETIVE BECAUSE I WORK FOR HIM. HE STATES THAT HE CANNOT TAKE A CHANCE BEING SEEN OUT WITH ME AND WE HAVE TO WORK SOMETHING OUT BECAUSE IT COULD BE A SCANDALE WHAT DO YOU THINK

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 3 years ago.
Hi, You are treading on some very thin ice with your supervisor. He is probably cautious because he is your superior and sexual harassment can become an issue. He could get in a lot of trouble and you could lose your job. The secretive component is "danger" and it is a game, secretive, don't get caught, etc. Adds to the element and sport of doing something you know you could get in trouble for doing or conquering the "prize", you.. If he cannot take a chance being seen out with you then you would be really smart not to go out with him at all. I understand that you may have feelings for each other but it sounds as though you are going to get nowhere with him in terms of a "real" relationship. You hold up and tell him that he asks you out (you don't have to let the entire office know) properly and that you will not sneak around. It sounds like he wants you to agree to his terms and you are smart not to buy it. He is your superior and as I said awhile ago you give into him and have a covert relationship he "wins" the game he is playing. He should know better. Be very careful, remember you deserve to be treated like a "princess" isn't that what you said you wanted??? Please accept so I get credit for my response.
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1699
Experience: PHD LPC
Dr. Keane and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

several people tell me i have to give in and go over his house because he cannot take a chance being seen out with a coworker. someone stated that if i quietly go along with it it could turn into something and that he is already crazy about me. my friend stated that i had better make a decision soon because if i don't i am going to loose out and he is going to get himself a women when the women when the women could have been me. i just think that if he wants me he should ask me out and find a way. am i wrong for saying no. i also stated that i don't want him kissing me again because i am not willing to get physical with someone that is not showing me that they truly want me. am i wrong for saying nooo you are not offering me what i want. now he seems to be agitated with me. i accepted already

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 3 years ago.
I do not think you are wrong in your saying no. This man should not, as your supervisor be playing this game. It could cost you your job. What would happen if you decided to go over to his home and things heated up. Then one of you decided that this isn't going to work, what do you think working would be like? There could be all sorts of problems. Stick to your decision and your beliefs. If he is agitated with you that is only the beginnings of what this could turn into.
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1699
Experience: PHD LPC
Dr. Keane and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i would love to date him and he is a great catch but i feel if he wants me he has to ask me out properly. several people are saying that i am asking to much of him and if i don't see him on the side i am missing out on someone who could marry me but i say if you want me you have to treat me with respect. another supervisor dated and married another girl in another area and they are happy she wouldn't allow him to sneak around with her and demanded respect and now they are happily married. i just can't settle for someone not respecting me because i feel even if i give in i may still not get what i want but other women say so what take a chance and see it may happen i am just to afraid to allow him to compromise my morals if he asked me out the right way i would gladly got out and start dating the right way is that wrong that i say no to going over and insisting that he ask me out on a date and if he can't do it forget it
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i would love to date him and he is a great catch but i feel if he wants me he has to ask me out properly. several people are saying that i am asking to much of him and if i don't see him on the side i am missing out on someone who could marry me but i say if you want me you have to treat me with respect. another supervisor dated and married another girl in another area and they are happy she wouldn't allow him to sneak around with her and demanded respect and now they are happily married. i just can't settle for someone not respecting me because i feel even if i give in i may still not get what i want but other women say so what take a chance and see it may happen i am just to afraid to allow him to compromise my morals if he asked me out the right way i would gladly got out and start dating the right way is that wrong that i say no to going over and insisting that he ask me out on a date and if he can't do it forget it
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
i would love to date him and he is a great catch but i feel if he wants me he has to ask me out properly. several people are saying that i am asking to much of him and if i don't see him on the side i am missing out on someone who could marry me but i say if you want me you have to treat me with respect. another supervisor dated and married another girl in another area and they are happy she wouldn't allow him to sneak around with her and demanded respect and now they are happily married. i just can't settle for someone not respecting me because i feel even if i give in i may still not get what i want but other women say so what take a chance and see it may happen i am just to afraid to allow him to compromise my morals if he asked me out the right way i would gladly got out and start dating the right way is that wrong that i say no to going over and insisting that he ask me out on a date and if he can't do it forget it
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 3 years ago.
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