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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Ask Jennifer. Thanks for that answer. So basically, just

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Ask Jennifer. Thanks for that answer. So basically, just so I see where she is comming from she does not want me to go out with single friends because of the fact that she may lose me even if thats not my intention to look for other women. So she does not like me in those surroundings? And the other part she did tell me time and time again that she does not want to get hurt because she really cares about me. She did tell me that once things are finalized things will be different. I sent her a text can you promise me that once the divorce is finalized things will be different. Her response was "Of coarse things will be different. A divorced woman is different than a married woman in the process of a divorce. All I can do is the best that I possibly can to please everyone (you, my kids). This feels very familier. Im having to make sure everyone else is happy
but then I get lost somewhere. I dont like how the way it feels." So what is she trying to tell me here?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 7 years ago.
I think it she probably feels a little insecure when you go to those places with her single friends. A common train of thought is "I trust you, just not the other women" or maybe even your single friends for the influence they may have on you. A small part of her is afraid of getting hurt again. She knows she trusts you. My guess is there was also a time when she trusted her soon to be ex-husband. See how that might make her somewhat guarded in that aspect?

What happened to your plan to stop texting and e-mailing each other messages about feelings that need to be discussed in person?? The problem with it is that so much of communication is non-verbal (body language, tone) and the kind of conversation you can have on the phone or in person is so much easier because you're able to ask clarifying questions and get a better sense of what the person is intending to say.

Call her. Whatever she's trying to tell you is only going to get more jumbled if you make it a conversation via text. Maybe she's just having a down day and that came off the wrong way... Or maybe she's truly losing herself and needs some space to figure out what makes her happy. Either way, you need to call to ask. Try not to put too much pressure on this one -- a simple, "Your text was confusing... I want you to be happy. Are you happy?" should be enough for her to clarify what her thoughts were with that message and clear up any confusion.
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