How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Jennifer Your Own Question

Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
30853534
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Jennifer is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My fiance engages in what I think is very abusive behavior.

Resolved Question:

My fiance engages in what I think is very abusive behavior. I am a college student and he is not, and he is constantly angry at me for the time I spend in school. I am very ambitious and have lots of activites, but I always make time to see him, even if my extracurricular activites or schoolwork suffers...but he gets upset if I don't call him when he thinks I should or when I don't invest all of my energy in him when we are together. There was a time in our four-year relationship when he began staying out all night, drinking, and getting angry with me for asking him where he was. Once, while drunk, he hit me repeatedly in the arm until my arm was badly bruised, but I ended up forgiving him. I am exhausted and truly feel that I have lost a lot of the love I had for him because he consistenly treats me this way. But then he'll be nice or understanding, and I'll think maybe he's changed. I've lost so much energy in this relationship that I don't even know how I could end it anymore.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com!

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear how draining this relationship has been for you and particularly for the incident in which he became physically abusive. That behavior is unacceptable in any relationship.

If you're looking to truly change the expectations he has of you and regain your trust in his ability to control his anger, I'd recommend you both attend counseling (individual and marital counseling).

If not, it's time to gather your support system -- Who can you count on when you need help? Whether it's a friend to talk to, a place to stay, or a family member who loves you unconditionally, now it the time to make those calls and explain how unhappy you are. They'll give you the strength to do what you need to do if you decide to leave. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Regardless of what you decide to do, I think you could benefit greatly from individual counseling. I'm happy to hear you're a college student -- most colleges have a counseling center that offers services to students either free or at a very low cost. Look into it? Counseling is a safe place to share your feelings, explore your options, and receive guidance in how to meet your goals.

I wish you the best of luck!
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience: Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
Jennifer and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency