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Angela
Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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I am 31 and my partner is 28. We have been engaged since October

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I am 31 and my partner is 28. We have been engaged since October 2009. He is a lovely guy though he seems to be obsessed with his appearance to the point it is now making me insecure. I've never had an issue with his looks. I've always told him he is fine and dandy. THough this seems not enough for him. What can I do to stop myself feeling so insecure and should I sit down with him and tell him how I feel. I think he is very handsome but that does not seem enough for him. Any advice would be great. I do get the feeling he is a little over confident maybe a little vain.
Hello R,
In order for you to stop feeling so insecure, identify what is it about his obsession with his looks that is making you feel so insecure and work on that issue. For example: do you feel that you are not attractive enough to be with him since he is obsessing over his looks? Yes, you should absolutely have a honest conversation with him and tell him how you feel and thoroughly discuss it together along with options for both of you to move past this point. During your conversation also tell him that when you express to him that he is very handsome it does not seem to be enough (-let him tell you if your interpretation of his actions is correct or not and let him share with you about this). Part of what keeps relationships vibrant and growing is having continual honest communication among both parties involved.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I do feel though I am not attractive. I feel I am not good enough. What shoud I do here.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank You very much for your advice Cool
Hello R,
What you should do is work on your self esteem, there are a couple of ways you could do this. 1. If therapy is an option, this would be the best way to explore why your self esteem is low. A therapist would guide you through this process, for some people, self esteem issues stem from their childhood which would naturally carry over to adulthood if the issues are not dealt with. If therapy is not an option (-and even if it is an option) you could work on your self esteem individually with self help books. Two books that I recommend to my clients dealing with self esteem issues are below.
The self esteem improving techniques book, by clicking here:

The self esteem workbook, by clicking here:
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