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Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Ask jennifer. Hi Jennifer. I figured I would give you an

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Ask jennifer. Hi Jennifer. I figured I would give you an update on my staus with the almost divorced woman I am dating. Things are going really well. We are getting closer and closer to each other. I know now that things seem to be real on both our parts. I still at times feel however that i have some doubts. I am trying to go with the flow but sometimes my head just thinks. I am trying to figure out if its because shes not really mine yet. She does want to be with me for the long haul and vice versa. But I still wonder why i have my guard up a little. I think it may be because the divorce is not final. I think what i am worried about is that this thing taking a year and she cant even stay over on weekends. Its like i am with the woman i want to be with but the situation of ex girlfriends who i did not want to be with were a lot better. Any thoughts on how to look at this. thanks
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.
The timing is rotten. If you'd met her after the divorce was finalized and she'd had some time to be on her own for a bit, I imagine there wouldn't be any issues at all. However, timing is not something we have control over. If you truly feel like she'll be the one for you after all of this is sorted out, consider this a life lesson in patience.

If you were to dive in head first now and later decide it's too much given her current situation, that's when you'd have more serious problems. Couples are rarely able to successfully "back up" in their relationship to an earlier stage. Better to take it slow until the timing is right.

With that said, don't think of it as waiting... You might get bored, resentful, and lose interest in what's at stake. Try to simply enjoy the moment and be appreciative of what you have. That way when it becomes more, it's a pleasant surprise. Don't be afraid to talk about your insecurities with her... She's the only one who can reassure you that her feelings are equally as strong.
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