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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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I am divorced. I was seeing this girl that was going through

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I am divorced. I was seeing this girl that was going through a divorce at the same time i was. We became good friends and then developed a relationhsip. We had moved in together at one point and started to progress in our relationship. But her soon to be ex husband has been cuasing so many problems. He has refused to sign the divorce papers and made serveral threats to her and to me. The threats have gotten so severe that it affected our relationship and she finally gave in a moved back in with him. She is scared for her life and mine. He has threatened her that he will hurt me or he has friends watching me to hurt me if she ever talks to me again or threatens his own life and hers. This guy is very unstable and should not take his threats lightly. What are my options and her options. She doesn't want to be with him but cant leave for reasons listed above.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Hello M,
By all means his threats should be taken seriously. I recommend you both immediately file a police report based upon the threats to do bodily harm to both of you. Please advise your friend that it would be best to file a police report when her husband is not home to prevent further problems with him also both of you could go into a police station if you do not want the police coming to your home to take the report. When you both file a police report, it sounds like the husband has made "terroristic threats" towards both of you based upon what you have written, so ask the police officer if a restraining order is also an option. Be advised if at anytime your friend or you feel your life is in danger or scared of bodily harm/threats immediately call 911. Also, it sounds as if your friend's situation could also be a domestic violence situation. Advise her that she can call 1-800-799-(safe) 7233 at any time and speak to a domestic violence counselor. I was previously also a domestic violence crisis counselor, so should she need to call, they will help her anonymously get into a shelter where she will be safe. They will also help her with a restraining order she should be eligible to file one and the counselor or a legal advocate can also accompany her to court. Based on what you have written about the husband threatening harm to you should you contact her again, do not contact her until after you have filed a police report and ask the police officer how you can safely give her the above information that I discussed.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
So to continue with her own divorce.... She needs to first file this police report and then call that hotline and they will direct her on how to proceed safely. What should i do. Once her husband realizes that she is leaving him, he will come after me. I am concerned about myself as well as my family, my property, my pets, etc. He has found out where I have lived in the past and shown up there. He knows where I work and what i drive. I have considered moving away. but this guys is so determined that I'm sure he will found out where i live.

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