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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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my husband and i have been married for almost one year--we

Customer Question

my husband and i have been married for almost one year--we lived together for 9 years prior to getting married. We used to get along great, but now we hardly ever have a day that is not filled with arguments. I feel that i am unimportant to him and that everything and everyone comes before me. I recently found out that he had been sneaking around to meet a mutual friend of "TALK". He admitted this to me and says that nothing ever happened except talking, but, that he did go to meet her with the intentions of having sex with her, but would start to think of me and it never happened. I work ALOT and he is often without my company, and i blame myself partially for not being there for him----he does not work. I cant get that off of my mind. He has a prior history of lying and sneaking around, but says that all was in the past and i am just supposed to forgive him and leave it in the past. HELP
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Hello Momo,
Based upon all that you have written, I think the best thing would be couples therapy. You naturally have concerns about trusting your husband based upon his previous behavior When trust is broken, it takes more than just words from your husband to restore it, which is why I think couple's therapy would benefit both of you. Also, since you are working, hopefully your job provides you with health insurance which could help to cover the cost. Also, in therapy the two of you could discuss the other issues in your marriage such as you feeling unimportant and such as your husband not working. I understand that you work a lot, but this is something worth making time for because it could strengthen your relationship and marriage which would make you a happier person.

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