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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My husband and I fight a lot about things that I ask him to

Customer Question

My husband and I fight a lot about things that I ask him to do, that I can't, for example hard labor stuff for our house, but it can take months and months of asking until I completely explode. I feel like I live with the anxiety of it everyday because it stares me in the face of all the things he PROMISED he would get done "TODAY" but hasn't. He is a hard worker with everything else, but so am I. How can we fix this?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Afternoon,


It sounds that just asking and waiting for him to do it has not worked out so far for you.


Perhaps you could set some kind of an ultimatum for him. If you don't do this by_____then I will______(whatever he feels would be a consequence for him)


If he is expecting you to do his laundry that week or cook dinner etc. Whatever it is that he relies on you to do, you halt doing until he does what you asked.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
what if he just doesn't care if I don't do those things, then I will just watch it pile up and get even more frustrated
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

If you see that he is not motivated then let him know that you would want to go to couple's therapy. See if this is a procrastination problem, if he is unmotivated (some people who're depressed display such behavior) Try to think about when this behavior had started on his part (if something had set it off or if he had been like that all along)


He must see that this is upsetting to you and him ignoring it whatever the reason is not a good sign.


Depending on what you need done/fiexed, let him know that if you hire someone else to do it he will have to pay for it.

Edited by Dr Rossi on 2/6/2010 at 11:45 PM EST
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
if we had money for couples therapy, I wouldnt be getting advice online. We do not have the money right now for therapy or to hire someone else to do these tasks
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.
All right. Just Answer is a question and answer site. It is not for therapy. If you have EAP through you work, you can get some free therapy.

Edited by Dr Rossi on 2/7/2010 at 12:36 AM EST

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