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Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Have been with my bf 5+ years and know he is the one. He is

Customer Question

Have been with my bf 5+ years and know he is the one. He is my soulmate and bestfriend. We have been having problems more and more and do not know what to do. I want to make it work but everything we do to fix the problem backfires. We decided to live apart for a few months to give ourselves time apart to evaluate the relationship, but it caused more problems than before. We just had a huge fight that I dont think theres any way to move on from, especially cuz whenever we talk things out it escalates into a fight or the issue gets pushed under the rug and we act like everythings OK. What do you do when you know hes the "one" but the relationship is faling miserably?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Evening,

 

When you know that he is the one, you try to make things right.

 

Find out what is causing the most recent discord. See if there are patterns that you have noticed on his end and from your end.

 

Sometimes couple's become too used to each other and at times they become enmeshed (where one person loses their identity or freedom in the relationship)

 

See if you or him harbor such feelings. Couple's therapy is also helpful.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I think the problem is that we became to use to eachother and too comfortable, which is why we decided to spend some time apart and not live together for awhile. We thought this would help, but it has caused more problems. Do you have suggestions for talking about problems. I feel like if I go back and apologize about the fight we will do what we always do, which is forget about the problem and everything will be okay for just a little while. I want to make a permanent change.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

You would have to address the issues (not avoid them)

 

Working on improving the communication b/w the two of you would be important as well as figuring out what each person wants from the relationship and what is expected of the other person.

 

Couple's Communication Made Easy (Audio CD - June 2007)

 

Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict (Paperback - May 1, 2009)

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