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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1760
Experience:  PHD LPC
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hi My boyfriend of 7 months told me he doesnt know if he

Customer Question


My boyfriend of 7 months told me he doesnt know if he wants to be with me....we have been friends before beeing gf and bf....he is a very difficult guy...he hasnt had a bf in a long time....he is not at all emotional.... and very selfish...he wants to do everything his own way....last week end i was supose to go sleep over at his house and he changed plans att he last minutes...thats when i got mad and told him he was very selfish...anyways....he started to tell me that we needed to talk.....that he doesnt think we are compatible.....we dont click...and that he doesnt know if he wants to be with me or not....anyways i told him i took a decision that i would just give up on the relationship and that i would leave him alone.....he didnt say or do anything to keep me....what do you think i should do now ?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.
Hi, actually right now you need to stick to your decision and leave him alone. He sounds selfish and immature. You did the right thing by ending the relationship, it would only lead to more heartache down the road. As sad as it may be to have your relationship with this guy end, know you are doing the right thing AND if he decides later on he wants to see you again as his gf, be very careful and think hard before you decide. From your description of him , he won't be very successful with gf unless they are easy to control and listen to him. You sound a lot stronger than most.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.


He sends me text messages everyday to ask me how i'm doing...i reply very casual...try not to get into emotion......he does it once a day....why do you think he does that ? does he want to get back with me ? or just be nice ?

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.
Hi. It may be a few things, one he may be use to texting you as his "friend", but remember he's selfish so it may also be his way of trying to manipulate you and see how compliant you really are. I would just let this fade, you can answer him but keep it on the surface, you're doing fine. Thanks for asking and then slowly let it cease. You may find he either starts texting more or it stops once he finds someone else who does "bow" to his selfishness. Just keep cool. I would say that if he were different, maybe in the future there is hope for both of you but you don't want a relationship with a man who is self centered, your life will be miserable. I see it every day in my practice. Find yourself someone who meets the criteria you want from a relationship. It starts with Trust, respect, honesty and empathy,good communication, mutual give and take. Then the love is strong, and you are a strong young lady. Stay that way.
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