How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Anna Your Own Question

Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Anna is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My question is this I left a marriage for an individual I

Customer Question

My question is this? I left a marriage for an individual I am deeply in love with, I have introduced him to my life, my son, endured a costly long horrible divorce, and after 2 1/2 years of being single, want more of the relationship. He has moved further away, keeps his wife and kids in the house (which is fine), but he hasn't filed for a divorce, I signed mine in 2007, he says he is using a mediator and because he is wealthy it doesn't make sense to move forward because of financial issues, properties, etc. money. I told him I don't care if he has legal bindings with her for life, I just want to date a single man, not married. He hasn't introduced me to his kids, doesn't have a picture of me on his desk and wants his free time not to sleep over but when he feels like it. I have met a crossroads in my life, that I need him to show something to move forward with this relationship, he says he understands and then it's over. If I want to date him, he is ok with it, but i have to accept his life as is. I need more then that, I am not looking to get married I just want someone to show me he loves me. He doesn't seem to have any interest in what hurts me. I miss him terribly, but I see no other alternative to moving forward in this relationship if he can't give me something to hold on to. I know the answer is wake up, he doesn't want you, but I love him so much, and I miss him dearly, and I'm miserable without him.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.

Hey Tundra,

I'm sorry you're going through this right now. It's a heartbreaking story. I agree with your conclusions, and I'm glad that he's being straight up with you and letting you know that he isn't going to be available to you in a deeper way. It's all very simple, but not easy.

You won't be miserable for too long, but it is a part of grieving the loss of your dream with this man. Line up your friends and relatives and have them distract you silly for a couple weeks. Make a vow to not contact him, so that you can at least let the wound scab over a bit and not be so raw and painful.

My guess is that you're also going to grieve the loss of your marriage at the same time. When a divorce is traumatic, you spend your time trying to survive it instead of grieving. I think that may pigglyback onto this loss. (very common)

Do what ever you can do to get yourself away from him and separate your life. If you compromise now, you'll regret it later. Look at the long term picture. You had the strength to get out of your marriage - you can get out of this. Be strong and persistent. All the little steps away will help you, and then in 6 months, you'll look back and feel free.

My best to you.


JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

Related Relationship Questions