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Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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I have4 been in a 2 year relationship and we live together.Its

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I have4 been in a 2 year relationship and we live together.Its a small one bedroom but I love it...my boyfriend on the other hand mentions alot of times how small it is and he camnt wait to have a bigger place with me...which wouldnt be bad but I think hes unhappy about it. Today were sitting on the couch cuddling and talking nicely when he says Im bored just sitting here with you lets go to sleep. I of course ask why hes bored abd if theres anything that I can do to make it better...he said he doesnt want to talk about it and after I dont stop asking about it(at that point im crying because I think hes bored with me) he gets soo angry that he twists my hand and says its all my fault because I dont stop wanting to talk about it and insist.Then he wanted to leave and I try to hug him and he got even angrier pushing me over a clothing dryer rack. I should mention Ive had wine poured over m ein the past,amongst other things for just trying to talk about things and mnake them better.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 4 years ago.


Hi theengel,

Its not your fault that you're being abused, and make no mistake: you are being abused by him and it will escalate. You can learn not trigger his desire to hurt you by backing off instead of clamming on to him physically and verbally when he's trying to get space. You're not "just trying to talk and make them better". You're assaulting an angry adult who is trying to get away from you. You need to learn how to handle your feelings better so that you can make wise, safer choices in how you act in an unsafe situation.

If you would, please fill out the feedback form after accepting. I appreciate this opportunity to help you out today. If I can be of further service to you, just put "for Anna" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it.

Thanks!

Anna

Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience: 29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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