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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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i have a male friend hes 43. Im 41. He claims to only love

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i have a male friend he's 43. Im 41. He claims to only love me as a friend, yet we are always together and he consults with me before making any decision in his life. We have great fun together and we are always laughing. We sleep over eachothers homes, talk about science, the universe, and have a very strong spiritual connection. We believe in eachother and support each other, and forgive one another freely no matter what is said. Occassionally we have sex, when I claim its ridiculous not to have sex, if we practically do everything else couples do. I feel like he's a husband. I've told him that if he doesn't want to be intimate, then maybe wee shouldn't be so close. But he refuses to let go and no matter what I say to drive him away, he comes back, like he can't live without me. What is this? Are we in love and don't know it?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.


I've got to say that my first thought is that he's gay. You two clearly are partners in everything but the sex, and it sounds like he obliges sometimes, but it isn't a regular thing. What is a deeper love if not what you're talking about. It doesn't make sense. Unless you start to think about what might make the perfect partner be connected in every way but one. There are lots of relationships like this.

I think you're both in love, but something is holding him back, and I suspect he knows what it is. Put it on the table in a caring way and see how the conversation goes. It's worth a try. Talk about what you have together and what his expectations are of a partner. He has some kind of serious doubts about himself that need to come up.

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