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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1766
Experience:  PHD LPC
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I suspect that my wife is having a lesbian affair. How can

Customer Question

I suspect that my wife is having a lesbian affair. How can I know for sure? I've been telling myself that this is impossible, then I encounter more "signals" Don't know what I should do. I've approached her on this and she strongly denies it. However, she doesn't want to have sex with me. It has been an extemely long time since we had intercourse. Am I nuts for susecting anything?
Submitted: 7 years ago via Answerly.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
No you are not nuts for wondering why your wife doesn't want to be intimate, but I would suggest that you go to marriage counseling. You and she can work out any problems you have and if your suspicions that she is a lesbian are true that is probably the environment where it will come out . It could be that she is depressed and that is the reason she lacks desire.
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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Unfortunately we have tried your suggestions, nothing new came out. She Stopped going and did't return because she did not feel that she was getting anything out of the sessions. I felt differently because her behavior improved while we were going. Now she is back to the way she was: drinking a lot, and imposible to reason with.

Thank you for your suggestions anyway...but noting new to me.

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi, have you thought of confronting her with your leaving the marriage unless she continues to get help, pretty drastic but at this point your marriage isn't going to get better on it's own. You need to think about you, and if you went to therapy alone you might find a resolution to the situation, go for you , not her. That is quite common in therapy, if one spouse doesn't want to do, shows resistance in the session, I will suggest they not come back together.