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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1748
Experience:  PHD LPC
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I just got engaged recently over the past holidays. I am 26

Customer Question

I just got engaged recently over the past holidays. I am 26 years old and my fiance is 28 years old. We have been together for 9 years. He was my second serious boyfriend and sexual partner and I was his first for both. We have had ups and downs in the past with times that I felt (and had friends tell me) that he didn't treat me well. Recently his personality has gotten a lot better and I think he has been making a conscious effort to be nicer and appreciative for what I do. We get along pretty well as far as hanging out and living together (which has been for 7 years). We have fun when we go do things. It feels more like we're just friends. My main hang up is that I don't feel any passion or special connection with him anymore and I can't really remember how strong our connection was in the beginning. I honestly, and feel horrible for admitting this, but I am not physically or sexually attracted to him. Having sex and kissing feels more like work than love. When he proposed my initial thought was "oh crap", and everyone I tell about my new engagement seem to be way more excited than I am. I sometimes wonder if I'm supposed to be happier, is it unrealistic to want more? Is it normal for the sexual connection to go away? I really don't want to hurt him. What are your thoughts?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
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