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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1760
Experience:  PHD LPC
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I came onto the information in his Email which was accidently

Resolved Question:

I came onto the information in his Email which was accidently left on the screen. I have been viewing the site and watching for signs of communication with far, nothing but I am still very upset and feel strongly that is is unacceptable. How and when do I make a move to let him know that I am on to what is happening?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.
Hi and welcome,

You have to be brutally honest with him, tell him what you found and how you feel about him being on these sites. Stop looking for signs that he is communicating with someone, that is torture for you and actually invading his privacy. I know you are curious, who wouldn't be but it serves no good purpose. Be upfront and honest with him. If he doesn't see it as a problem I would suggest counseling for both of you.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Please suggest a way that I can present this information. Need I precede the the disgusting facts with a statement that will let him know that this can be worked out in a positive way?


Is viewing porno something that men do? My husband is 68 years old.

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.

You can tell him you need to talk about something you happened upon that he left up on the computer and that you don't understand why he would be looking at it, could he explain what it was all about. You don't have to describe anything or give him any disgusting facts, he saw it, he knows what it was....Try not to make it a huge issue or it may become one. Men are visual and yes, some men view porno, some women too. It becomes a problem when they are spending too much time on porn sites or spending too much money on them. If he was "addicted" to porn there probably would have been a lot of sites or emails on the computer. Wait to see what he has to say about it.
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