How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi there, Id appreciate someones advice on this situation.

Resolved Question:

Hi there,
I'd appreciate someone's advice on this situation. 5 months ago I met a guy online. We corresponded daily for 2 of those months via emails. we finally met up and we seemed to get on fine. He stayed overnight with me recently which was the first time however I now see that he is back online again on the the dating site. I went on it to check if was there and sure enough he was. I have not been on this site previous to this. We meet up about once a week going to the cinema or having a meal out but during this time there is the odd text or phonecall. I'm just to nervous to ring him because I don't know what to say. I know at the end of the day that we are not a couple but we have been seeing each other for about 3 months now that I thought he might have stopped going on the website. In my heart I feel that there probably is no future there but I did really want to give this a chance. I'm disappinted with what I have seen but do you think I should just call it quits now with him?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Evening,

 

It sounds like the guy is not in search of long term commitment and would like to keep have many options. If you're seeking a long term committed relationship, this may not be the one you'd want to go after. Of course, you can make that decision for yourself and what works best for you. From what you've shared it sounds like he wants to explore other relationships as well as the one with you.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Dr Rossi,

 

Thank you for your honest feedback. I believe you could be right in that he wants to explore other relationships and therefore for me all I want to offer him is friendship as I do want a commited relationship and it does not sound like he wants this at present.

 

One thing though that makes me anxious is the fact that recently I have been nervous or anxious to even ring him because i have this fear that he actually does not want to get to know me. It probably sounds silly you might say. My other worry is fear of not knowing what to say.

 

He text me there today and 'asked me if I was ok and how was my work going'. I said fine and how he was'. He replied that he was alright but not looking forward to his return to work after the holidays'. I asked him if I could ring for a chat? He replied 'not at the min, maybe another time. I asked him if there was anything wrong and he said that he had a bad headache and was struggling with some prepatory coursework prior to his return to work. I wished him well and left it at that.

 

I think that this does sound like a guy who does not want to know me and if so it is when it suits him and not me.

 

Would my interpretation be correct, do you think?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Dr Rossi,

 

I'd really be grateful if you could advise me on my query above?

 

Many thanks,

Customer/p>
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.
It does not sound silly that you believe that he does not want to know you. If that is your instinct and from what you have observe it may be possible on his end (perhaps a defense mechanism-he does not want to get hurt, or being mindful- he does not want to hurt you if he does not foresee a relationship (the kind you want to have w/ him in the long run) Go with your instinct and if you have more negative reactions to how he treats you it may be better for you to leave things as they are. Of course, if you think that he is uncertain and the he is a poor communicator you may want to still ask him directly where he sees things going. At least you would have some better idea and not get more hurt later on.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hi Dr Rossi,

Again thank you for your advice, it was very straightforward and honest.

 

I contacted this guy today and made general comments etc but to determine his true interest in me I aske if he would like to go to the pictures sometime next week. He replied 'not sure about next week with the very bad weather we are having etc'. I replied 'completley understand and wished him well'. His vague reply told me everything I wanted to know.

 

Many thanks again.

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.
You did what you had to do. Now you could focus on other things including making yourself happy. There is plenty of fish in the sea after all.
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency