Run. Don't walk. This is a standard situation that abusive people engage in. Abusers want control and domination. Think about this from his side of things: what it looks like to him is that he's really, really, really losing control now. You got away, but now you're getting free - he knows this in the core of his being. Read back over what you wrote in your post, and you'll have your answer. Why in the world would you go back to someone you struggled so hard to get away from? Nine years together and children and he wouldn't marry you? In the best of situations, that was unkind. Seduction is part of the emotional abuse cycle, and if you let him, he'll pull you back in....back into the same relationship that took you so long to exit. I say run.
I'm going to give you a couple articles to read, and I suggest that you print them out and read them whenever you feel weak. Go to a realtionship that nurtures your soul, not one that drains it.Rules of The Gameemotional abuse
You deserve a full, committed relationship from your partner, and you've met a person who may be able to give you that - don't let this other guy from the past ruin that for you.
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