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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1763
Experience:  PHD LPC
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Hi, Ive been seeing my girlfriend for 1 1/2 years. We are

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Hi, I've been seeing my girlfriend for 1 1/2 years. We are both 26/27. I love her and plan to marry her soon. However, since day one she have recieved text messages from her ex boyfriends. They've come in the middle of the night, and at other irritating times. At first, I thought she cheating on me, but I talked to her and she told me that nothing is going on and things were fine. I trusted her. Every time it was real difficult for her to tell me about these guys and the history behind all of it. Well, after all this time she still has trouble telling me these guys text her still. The reason why she tells me is because she dont want me to think things are going on between them and it has nothing to do with our relationship. I've talked to her atleast 3 times about it and nothing has changed - she still recieved text messages and I still feel she hides it from me. Help?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi

Today there are many people who do not see any problems being friends with their ex boyfriends or girlfriends. If you find this difficult and are engaged to her you need to ask her to please cut off these texting relationships. I would be very wary about marrying someone who you can't trust 150%. What would she do if you told her that the wedding isn't going to happen due to her immature behavior? You are her boyfriend and an occasional text wouldn't be a problem but to text her in the middle of the night is wrong. It could be just a habit but I see more of a problem not with the texting but with not honoring your relationship by ignoring your request to stop. Hiding it from you makes me believe she knows she is hurting you and it's wrong.

Edited by Dr. Keane on 12/21/2009 at 1:51 PM EST
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