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Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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dated man for 5 years, helped him went unemployed payed his

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dated man for 5 years, helped him went unemployed payed his cell phone bills, on line,never before looked at his calls, notice, 1-800 chat lines, and phone number he called often on the phone 1 hour some times l hour n half. when he found out,told me that his buddy uses his phone,and I had no business scaning his number. We are to be marrying in 2 months, Now, he's not calling me, or answering any of my texts.????? Do I call and leave AN MESSAGE ON HIS CELL PHONE THAT I PAYED THE BILL ON. COMMENT WELCOME
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.


Hi Feeling,

You need to trust your gut on this one. You're making perfect sense to me - this guy is lying to you and cheating on you, and you caught him. He's acting like a typical busted person: blaming you and throwing things back at you. Innocent people don't act that way, guilty people do.

This is going to be hard for you to do, but you need to stop all wedding plans untill you feel like this situation is 100% completely resolved to your satisfaction. I cannot tell you how many women fall for stories after busting their boyfriends and then go on to be in a miserable marriage. It isn't worth it, and it doesn't work out magically. Even if he says he's sorry, it doesn't mean that he has the skills or consistant desire to change his behavior long term. He's been leading a hidden life.

Don't worry so much about what you tell him. Worry more about what you're saying to yourself. You're in shock and in pain. Attend to that. He may love you. What does that actually mean? Feelings arent what make a marriage - relationship skills do. Honesty does. Commitment does. This guy is lacking. Don't pay his phone bill.

confronting him

My best to you.

If you would, please fill out the feedback form after accepting. I appreciate this opportunity to help you out today. If I can be of further service to you, just put "for Anna" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it.

Thanks!

Anna

Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience: 29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
Anna and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Anna, thank you for your of your knowledge on this situation, but what I did not mention to you is that he is incarrated, 4 years ago he has given me a ( 3 and half carate )diamon ring, to show his love for me. He is a christian man, . he left msg. on my cell for me last night ( it would be wise to seek understandings threw prayer. Faith and trust in the Lord is unconditional an must be in the affairs of the heart, Seek God.) what could he mean, I guess I have to pray on it.
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
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29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.