How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My husband and I separated 3 months ago. He has been coming

Resolved Question:

My husband and I separated 3 months ago. He has been coming over on the weekends but tells me he's not sure what he wants. He says sometimes he's excited to come for the weekend but sometimes no big deal. He tells me he doesn't want anyone else but likes it like it is now. I also found him chatting with someone on Ashley Madison. What do I do to make him want to come back or am I crazy?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Afternoon,

 

It sounds like he is trying to have both worlds- you in his life (possibly because he is used to you/comfortable/will not have to impress you all over, etc and at the same time wanting to lead the life of a single guy (having access to other women and his own time)

 

You will want to decide for yourself if you want to take another chance at possibly being hurt and disappointed and always watching over your shoulder.

If he tells you that he is confused and you want to give it a try, the best thing to do is to see a couple's counselor who can help the two of you sort priorities out.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
He is not going to agree to a counselor. He tells me he doesn't want anyone else and isn't looking but not willing to commit to moving back in yet. Am I supposed to give him space - would that make him miss me or decide what he wants. Do I ever confront him and tell him I know he is on Ashley Madison? I just don't know where to go from here. I want it to work but don't want to waste my time if he's playing me. If I need to restart the grieving process I don't want to delay. I really want it to work but need him to be crazy about me - any suggestions on how to make him crazy for me?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

You do what makes YOU better, happier and in control. Why should you accommodate him if he does not even want to see a counselor. If it makes you better to confront him, go for it. He could see that you are someone taking up for herself and that you know what he is up to. If he had disappointed you once, he may do it again. Past behavior predicts future behavior (unless he wants to chase) and of what you've shared he does not really want to do so.

 

You may not be able to make him crazy about you if he is not. That comes from him and he ought to be crazy about the woman you are not a fantasy (and that is probably what he is after) All fantasies fade sooner or later.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

He doesn't know it but I am the girl he is talking to on Ashley Madison. I saw an email that he signed up so I did to. Should I agree as this girl to meet him and then I show up? If I "out" him now and continue the relationship I will lose insight as to what he is up to and also fear he will never talk to me again. Does it cost add'l for ea question and response? Or just once for the session. I'm so confused - think he really cares and loves me but I don't like his hesitation to commit to working to move back - I would want to take more time but scared about where his head is. Don't know why I want to make it work so bad but just do but don't want to set myself up for another heartbreak.

 

Do you think telling I need some time for myself will make him think about what he wants and if he is willing to put forth the effort? Honestly - am I just stupid?

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency