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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1691
Experience:  PHD LPC
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Hi, this is about my marital relationship. Weve been married

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Hi, this is about my marital relationship. We've been married for 8.5 years, second marriages for both of us. He has four kids (ages 15-21), I have none. We've had intense stress from dealing with the uncooperative, manipulative behavior of his ex-wife, mainly over care of the children, and money. Despite trying to carry on rational, win-win discussions for years, we have received in return an "it's-all-your-fault, what a horrible father, I'm entitled" kind of responses from the ex-wife. We moved to another city after my husband lost his job in 2003. This helped lower stress levels immensely, even though it was very difficult for my husband to leave his children. Now, the ex-wife has moved to our city. Chaos and shenanigans again; two kids live w/ their Mom. Very stressful and wearing for us, affecting our relationship. Sometimes I wonder whether it is all worth it. We think little get-aways would be helpful, yet we have very little extra cash for a vacation. How to have peace/sanity?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi and welcome

As the children age out and become young adults your husband can cut his interactions with her to the minimum . Until that time having her move to the same city and cause chaos can be handled by the two of you getting some professional counseling with a cognitive behavioral psychologist. It's the best way to learn how to deal with the shenanigans and abuse from her. She will never cease and it's working isn't it? What she is doing is trying to affect your relationship and ruin it. Don't let that happen, instead learn through counseling how to handle the situation. The two of you need to stay strong, be a couple and get some outside help. Some people have a very difficult time moving on, seems like she is bent on trying to ruin your marriage, revenge and anger are dangerous. Don't let it happen. Little trips are a great idea but counseling would be more helpful right now.
I hope this is helpful.
Please click ACCEPT and leave FEEDBACK when you are satisfied.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Yes, thank you, XXXXX XXXXX I think getting this type of counseling is good advice. It would surely help us both. As strong as our boundary skills are, we find that this does not always work, obviously.

Also, I would like to pay you more for your answer. When I indicated an amount, it was then discounted. That's nice, but it ended up be less than what I wanted to pay. How can I forward an additional amount to you? Thank you.

Have a wonderful holiday season.

Regards,

Angela Henson
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi, well you can use the bonus section....thank you ! Hope you enjoy this holiday season as well!
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1691
Experience: PHD LPC
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