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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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My husband and I have been married for about 9 1/2 months.

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My husband and I have been married for about 9 1/2 months. Before we got married he admitted to me that he had "feelings" for a girl he considered to be his "best friend". He told me that he loved her and that he wasn't going to end their friendship even though he was in love with me. (She didn't want a relationship with him.) I became very depressed and actually stopped eating for a while because of his love for her. Since then, he realized that my health was more important than his friendship with her and he ended their friendship and has had no contact with her since. The problem is I'm still hurting from this whole ordeal. I love my husband and I don't want to leave, but I feel like I'm being haunted by the memories of this other woman. There are days I just want to lay in bed and cry, because of how unhappy I am. What can I do to be happier in my marriage and not feel so betrayed? I'm open to any suggestions.

Hi Paris,

I think you need to treat this like he had an affair. The betrayal you're feeling is similar to what wives who've been cheated on feel. I'm going to give you some sites that talk about this and can validate your feelings as well as offer you ideas about things other women do to get past this.

In the end, you have to understand that what happened is real and you're going to have a strong reation to it. It will take time for him to re-build his trust with you and for you to feel secure. If you still have trouble, go to the doctor and be evaluated for clinical depression.
things to do
getting over it

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