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Dr.G.
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR A YEAR AND 8 MONTHS MY HUSBAND IS A

Customer Question

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR A YEAR AND 8 MONTHS MY HUSBAND IS A VERBAL ABUSIVE HUSBAND AND AT TIMES CAN BE A LOVING HUSBAND, WHEN I TELL HIM WHAT I HEAR WHEN HE SAYS THINGS HE DENIES IT, AND SAYS I SHOULD GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST WE WENT TO A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR AND THAT DID NOT HELP. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
How many times did you go to the counselor? Does he admit to any problems in the marriage? Have you tried standing up to him and not putting up wiht his verbal abuse?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

WE WENT FOR SIX MONTHS ONCE A WEEK. HE THINKS I AM THE PROBELM,WHICH IS NOT THE CASE. WE HAVE SHOUTING FIGHTS AND SAYS I SHOULD GO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST. I TRIED STANDING UP TO HIM BUT IT DOES NOT MEAN A THING. HE SAYS THESE THINGS TO GET ME UPSET AND TO CRIED.

Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
He sounds like a bully. I don't know if seeing a psychiatrist is the answer. I think you might be better suited to see a therapist, and not because he says so but to help you deal with him. I could tell you that you need to stand up to him and not allow him to treat you in that manner but there is not enough time and typing room to tell you how to go about doing that. So....I would suggest connecting with a therapist to help develop a plan you feel good about in helping you deal with him. If things get too bad and he becomes violent then call the police. If you are interested in leaving the marriage then your local victim service can help you coordinate that. In the meantime, don't engage him if he is going to yell. If you don't respond to him when he tries to get you upset then that will send the message that he can no longer push your buttons. If he has given up on marriage counseling then you can return to that counselor, since they know your husband, and you can develop a plan without him. I hope this helps and good luck.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
HE HAS SAID SOME VERY DISTURBING THINGS TO ME.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
The advice still stands no matter how bad he has treated you. You need to do what's best for yourself and for your happiness.

Please press the green accept button.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO? WHAT KIND OF THERAPIST SHOULD I TRY?
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
I say go back to your marriage counselor since you already know that person and have rapport with them. It might be decided that you will work with that person and stop marriage counseling or that person can refer you to a local agency or another therapist. That would be my first step if I were you.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

THE MARRIAGE COUNSELOR DID NOT HELP. MY HUSBAND NEEDS PSYCHLOGICAL HELP.

Expert:  Dr.G. replied 7 years ago.
Yes he needs helps but he needs to get it on his own and he needs to want help. I am looking out for you and the children. If the marriage counselor did not work then find somebody else in your town.

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