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Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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I have found out recently that a person I love is a pathological

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I have found out recently that a person I love is a pathological liar. How does our family handle this condition? We are really devastated.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.


Hi Lani,

Is the liar the 26 year old female? What is your relationship to her, and does she have a main topic for her lies?

Anna
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.
I've closed the other question, so lets continue on this thread.
Anna
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.


How old is the person you're talking about?
What is your relationship to her? sister, mother?
How do you know she is a pathalogical liar?

Anna
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I thought I sent this info already,however, I'll reiterate. She is my granddaughter, age 26. Her lies have to do with money, mostly. She always needs help because she lost her purse, or her identity was stolen, or she was burglarized, or she miscalculated,etc. We found out about her problem because we started talking with her estranged husband, and everything started falling into place. She also lies about her relationship with her poor husband, that everything is always his fault.
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.


Hi Lani,

Sorry the info didn't show up on the other post.
It sounds like she may have a drug problem. When money continues to be needed, drugs of some sort are most often involved, and the lying around that issue is legend. I suggest not giving her cash. Talk to as many people as you can, and if you can bring everyone together to compare stories, do so. Not with the intention to gossip, but to gather facts. If it does seem like drugs, get education on the issue. AlAnon and Familiy Anonymous are international groups that meet weekly to help support family members of those struggling with drugs and alcohol. Talking to people in the same situation takes all the shame out of it and gives you great ideas on what to do. Once you feel grounded in information about her and her problems, you'll know when it's time to confront her.

On the other hand, if drugs are not involved, you may have a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder or Histrionic Personality Disorder. I'm going to give you some links on those.

For now, educate yourselves and get into contact with people online or locally who have similar issues. You don't need to reinvent the wheel, and you can use the support. She is not well, and needs you guys to be firm and honest with her. Make any help you offer her contingent on her seeing a counselor or psychiatrist.

BPD
Compulsive lying this one has a good link on the right about confronting a compulsive liar.
addiction
Histrionic

This is such a painful experience for loved ones to go through. My heart goes out to you. Take it one step at a time right now. Gather the facts and find out what is really going on. Decide what help is available and what you're willing to do to get her the help she needs, and then set it before her and hold fast to your limits. This may be a long ride.

My best to you,
Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience: 29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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