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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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hi im 25 yrs old and ive been dating a 30yr old guy for the

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hi im 25 yrs old and ive been dating a 30yr old guy for the last 3 months he's easy going and relaxed about it and so was i until i mentioned about meeting up over christmas and he got all weird and saying he's terriblw at relationships and he's not a relationhip guy (his ex cheated on him a lot but that was 5 years ago). I was really thrown by this as we meet up regularly.he got work in a different city an hour away about 6 wks ago and he got weird then too but i let him cool off and everything was great again. I thought we were getting on great. He says he likes me a lot and is not seeing anyone else so what im wondering is should i keep it going and act normal,its still early days yet or should i leave him go which i know will hurt as i like him alot.
help!
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Afternoon,

 

Perhaps he is feeling that things were moving too fast? You can always act like you have been acting (after all, you cannot control what he does or says only your actions)

 

Everyone (even people in long term committed relationships) have the need for autonomy and some time doing things separate from their partner. That is healthy.

Of course, keep an open eye on how things are going and what signals he's sending you. If you feel that he is sending mixed messages, talk to him about it but don't press too hard in the beginning (let him tell you what is going on)

Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

so i continue on as normal and pretend it never happened i usually cook for him tomorrow night so should i invite him over and pretend nothing happened or should i clear the air and say things are still really early we dont know whats going to happen in the future(which is how i feel too) or last option is play the wait for him to organise to meet up and let it up to him? i know i read too much into everything but i myself have been hurt and don't want to get hurt again

thanks

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

You going as usual in your behavior does not imply not confronting him or mentioning it.

You don't want to get hurt (and yes reading too much into things is not healthy either anticipating something they man not happen) Just try to find out what his expectations of the relationship are. It does not have to be over a serious talk. Casually try to probe and see where he stands. There is nothing wrong in letting him know how you feel (unless you feel that it would be like letting your guard down. You know best how to approach him from knowing what kind of person he is)