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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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OK, Ive Been Struggling in a relationship for a few weeks

Resolved Question:

OK, I've Been Struggling in a relationship for a few weeks now. Here's the story of how we met because it's the main reason I'm so confused right now. I'm an 18 year old male my GF in question is 25. (Names will be changed.)I used to go over to my uncle's house and hang out all the time, he's more of a friend than an uncle. I was at his house when I met this couple; Anthony, and Vicky. They lived nxt door. We would all just talk, grill out, and socialize.After I really got to know them I would go visit them. Well they were splitting up, and one day when I was at their house Vicky just started txting me wanting to know if I wanted to meet her later, after she left for the nite. So she came over to my place and that was our first "time" together. Things went on like this for a while, then I had 2 move out of town. She's still friends with Anthony and goes to his house. Now this is long distance I need to know if this will ever be more than casual sex. She won't give me a straight answer.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Afternoon,

 

She may not want to give a straight answer because she either does not know what to tell you herself (not having made up her mind) or she wants to see other people as well and not tell you that.

 

Most important is- what do you want to get out of the situation? Think about that and what future do you see with this relationship and if it is worth your energy and efforts.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Your answer was fine, but i didn't have enough space to type all of it the first time so. She told me since she's just gotten out of a long relationship she dosn't want to "jump straight into another one", but to me I feel like we're already in a deeper relationship than she does. We text all the time and she tells me she misses me but im afraid she might be holding back with going further with me because she still has feelings for Anthony. That's why it's hard for me to picture any future in this, because I really can't read her feelings sometimes. I don't know if that's just part of her personallity or if she's being deceptive with me. She will defend me if Anthony says somthing about me. Why does she sometimes refer to us as "good friends", even though I feel differently. How can I tell if she still messing around with Anthony?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

The only way to tell if she is being deceitful is to catch her in it or confront her. It is a red flag if you believe that the relationship goes deeper than just friendship and she denies it. It also could be an excuse of not wanting another long term relationship or feeling ready for one. A person usually knows if they want something or not and if they want something will go to an extent to get it.

She may defend you out of guilt of to hide the truth of how things are b/w the two of you. You would only know for sure by asking her and if she gives you an honest answer. otherwise you'd have to speculate.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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