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Anna
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Category: Relationship
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Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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I previously asked for advice concerning my relationship. I

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I previously asked for advice concerning my relationship. I had broken up with my boyfriend about 3 months ago and realized that I had made a mistake. So about 2 weeks after the break up, I apologized to him and told him that I made a mistake, I asked him if the next time he was in the area could we sit down and talk. He said "Yes." He told me he would let me know when he was back in the area. He travels for mths for his job.

Fast forward..about a 1 1/2 week ago, I received a phone call from my ex. He sounded very nervous. Our conversation was short because at that time I was at a location that was very noisy, so I asked him if I could call him back, he said "Yes." He did tell me at that time he was back in the area and was working hard. However, when I called him back he did not answer.

So, over Thanksgiving, I sent him a text wishing him a Happy Thanksgiving and he replied.

I really want to sit down and talk with him, but I do not know how to proceed. What do I do? Both nervous
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 4 years ago.

Hi coco,

I'd make it easier on both of you by offering to meet him at a coffee shop or over lunch at a restraunt - not a date, but a meeting. Catch up on what your life is like and chit chat. See what you feel like when you're face to face with him and his new life - it may be different than the fantasy you've had while he's been gone. Make sure you still want to move forward or not. If you do, then meet again over lunch or dinner. Get to know each other again without the weight of the past hanging over you. Start fresh.

If you go into this with an attitude of curiosity, you'll be OK with yourself no matter what the outcome is. Learn about him and get to know him - let that be your only agenda for the meeting. When it's time to say good-bye think about whether you really want to meet again or not. Take the shroud of fear and the weight of a 'relationship' off the table for a bit - it will be easier for both of you.

Anna

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
You provide some good advice. However,I'm uncertain as to whether it answers my question. Should I contact him or wait for him? What should I say? Need advice as to how to proceed with asking to meet.
Expert:  Anna replied 4 years ago.


I suggest that you offer to meet him at a coffee shop or lunch by texting him so that he can respond in his own time. Just say, "I'd like to meet and chat with you at Starbucks or over lunch- no biggie, I just want to catch up."
Anna
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Well, Anna thanks for your advice....This should be my last reply....I texted my ex. I asked him if we could meet to talk/catch-up and if so could we do it next weekend? He replied a few hours later and told me that "next weekend might not be the best time. and that he needed to check some things and get back to me" He then proceed to ask me if I would be open to travel? and when will I vacate?. I replied a few hours later, that "Okay, I will wait to hear from him" and "Yes, I was open to travel." I told him I had no set dates to vacay, cause I did not know whether he meant vacate or vacay.

 

In any event, I have not heard back from him (3 days since text). I am at a lost as to whether or not he truly wants to meet and talk. He responds to me, but I'm not sure and why would he ask me about traveling? I guess I will find out should I hear from him.

 

 

I feel like I keep having to wait for him...

 

Thanks.

.

Expert:  Anna replied 4 years ago.


Hey Coco,

I think it's time to face the facts: if he wanted to get back in contact, he would have. 3 days is plenty of time for anyone with the desire to communicate. I can't imagine why he would lead you on with the travel question, but I think you need to be very careful not to set yourself up in the 'doormat' mode. Something isn't right with all this - I don't see the care and concern that interested men show to women. Be very careful.

Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience: 29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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