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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1473
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I,ve just found out my husband has been having an affair,he

Customer Question

I,ve just found out my husband has been having an affair,he has done texting to other women before,5 times before,i forgive him in the past because of my 2 children and he told me that it was just texting.I was told about a month ago that i,m going through pre mature menopause so my sex drive has been really low,but he,s said he,ll support me through it.Now i,ve found some disgusting text messages between him and another women revealing what they were like in bed together and saying they love each other.I confronted him and he,s said he loves her only in a sexual way and would li8ke us to stay together in a none sexual relationship because he still loves me and the children.He,s bound to do it again,because he hasnt been able to cope without sex while i,m going through this.Hope you can give me some advice as my head is a mess.I still love him but i dont want to be treated like this.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 6 years ago.
Wow, I am sorry to hear about your recent situation. I really have concerns about your husband's fidelity. He is outright telling you that he loves another woman. How are you supposed to feel when you hear this? Of course it just shook your world. He has laid out to you very clearly that he wants her sexually and you nonsexually. I think him blaming you for your menopause is a huge cop-out an outrage. My question to you is can you accept/live with his behavior and plan for your/her relationship? If you can then you are a bigger person than I am. If you can't then you need to be very clear and specific about what you need and want from him. I would be looking at his actions; no lip-service. If he can provide this to you then great but if he cannot then you need to move on with your life and fine someone who can give that to you. In the meantime, I would recommend having a few sessions of counselling just to get someone to help you wrap your brain through this and maybe make a gameplan that you can feel good about. I hope this helps and I wish you the best. If I can help you further please let me know.

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