How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr.G. Your Own Question

Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr.G. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my wife had a married woman friend who has told my wife (on

Resolved Question:

my wife had a married woman friend who has told my wife (on many occasions) that she no longer wants my wife as a friend. The former friend says that she feels my wife 'pursues' her and has become a bit obsessed with her. The former friend feels as if she is being 'stalked'. My wife's reaction is to blame the former friend's husband, a doctor, and blame him for interfering with the former friendship. Nothing can change my wife's fixed view of this situation. I think my wife's blaming of the husband is a way my wife uses to protect herself from having to face the painful fact that her former friend has rejected her. My wife gets upset with me because I don't share her view. I have read a bit about obsessions and we talked with a psychiatrist, who rejected the psychiatrist's advice just to back off. Any ideas of what I should do would be great. I love my wife dearly and it pains me to see what is happening.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 5 years ago.
I might be able to help but Ihave a few questions. How often is this a topic of conversation? What is your wife's reaction to you and what do you tell her? Is that relationship repairable?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
This is a topic of conversation between my wife (C) and myself about once or twice a week.
C says to me that C feels she is being 'bullied' by B (the husband of the former friend). C says that C had a good friendship with M (C's former friend) but that when B retired, B became possessive and made M sever the relationship with C. C says she wants to sit down with M and a counsellor to resolve the issues. M absolutely refuses - I think because M believes C won't be satisfied unless C gets an outcome she wants, that is, a resumption of the former friendship.
What I say to C is that M has told me she made M's own decision to end the former friendship. I also say that even if I am wrong about that, it makes no difference - M for whatever reason is telling C she wants C to leave her alone. Over the past 7 or so years, M has made numerous requests to C, for C to leave her alone, including a letter from M this year threatening to seek a court order requiring C to leave M alone (apprehended violence order). I have spoken myself with the other couple who say they will be friendly when they meet C or me, but they want C to stop this pursuit. M says she is disturbed and upset about C's continuous 'pursuit' of M.
C's reaction is that M is 'ambivalent'. C treats any greeting or courtesy from M as a sign that really M likes C and but for B's 'bullying', the former friendship will would resume.
I keep further discussions with C on this subject to a minimum as we are at an impasse. C considers that I am failing to give her support in her quest to deal with B's bullying and resolution of the issue with M.
About 30 years ago, C had a similar obsession with another woman friend. It ended with the relationship between us and that other couple being severed by them with acrimony.
By the way, this is a lot to ask of you for $30 so if you can help solve this problem, I am happy to pay a fee that properly reflects what is required of you. Kind regards.
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 5 years ago.
Wow this is an intriguing dilemma. First thing comes to mind is the history of obsessing about friends (since this is not the first time). I can't help but wonder if your wife goes overboard and puts more energy into these relationships then the people give her. It sounds like it could be a one-way relationship where your wife wants more out of it than they are willing to give. I think if it is coming to the point where court might get involved then she definitely needs to back off. I don't know what her friends' motives are and I really don't care becasue they have made it clear they no longer want contact with her. For you, I would definitely no tbring up the subject unless your wife does. Then, if she does, all you should do is empathize with her (i.e. I know it hurts honey, or I know you must be upset). Basically you will reflect the feelings she has and nothing more. You cannot fix this situation but your wife wants you to understand her point and so you can tell her you do understand. I would not be the go-between with your wife and those people. Stay out of it as best as you can. For your wife, she needs to abide by these people's wishes becasue she cannot force a relationship if they do not want it. Now, it will definitely not be repairable if htey are threatening restraining orders. Your wife may want to seek counseling to understand why this pattern keeps happening where she loses friendships. You should not tell her why because then you are the bad guy. Remember to only empathize with her. The only way this problem can be solved is if the both of you distance yourselves from these people and live a normal life doing other things that you enjoy. It cannot consume the both of you so don't let it. Things can get better if you move forward and possibly learn from incident. I hope this is helpful. Let me know if there is anything else I can do.
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience: Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Dr.G. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy


    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist


    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Ms Chase's Avatar

    Ms Chase

    Life Coach

    Satisfied Customers:

    Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues
  • Alicia_MSW's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • Suzanne's Avatar


    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency