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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I always seem to be attracted to bad boys, my father was

Resolved Question:

I always seem to be attracted to 'bad boys', my father was a bad husband/father, do you think the two are connected?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Evening,

 

There is the possibility of a connection- unconsciously trying to connect with someone who reminds us of the father or a father figure in a way to make up for lost opportunities (whether it is seeking approval, attention, kindness, compliments, protection, etc) People also learn by example (social learning) If you have noticed a pattern, then there is always a connection.

 

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for responding so quickly. So how can i break this connection? Should i seek some councelling? what should I do as I am going from one failed relationship to another. Its like in the beginning I see it as a challenge but then I always end up getting hurt, emotionally. Deep down I know they are wrong for me, but I can't seem to help myself. It has happened twice now and each time I have fallen madly in love and found it hard to get over them. Have i got some problem that I am unaware of? Please help.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

One way to break this, is to look for patterns. The moment you realize that this is a person with similar traits to your father, try to figure out why you are involved with them in the first place. If you do not find any positive or comforting characteristics and if your intuition tells you that there is nothing substantial in the relationship, then reconsider it.

Another way to learn more about your self and possible subconscious drives is through counseling.

You're saying that you cannot help it. All behavior is driven by a purpose. You are engaging in something that you believe will make you happier and satisfied (even if in reality that is not the case) Also, behaviors can be corrected as long there is the awareness and the desire to do so.

It is possible to behave in a way that you're not fully aware of. That is natural to everyone.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX helps a lot. I just have one last question and that is what kind of counseling would you recommend?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.
Individual counseling by someone trained in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) Choice Theory (although any modality can be helpful)
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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