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Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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Hi, my wife moved out of the house 3 weeks ago. She broke

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Hi, my wife moved out of the house 3 weeks ago. She broke down about a month ago and said that in a "huge mistake" cheated on me one night after a night out drinking with the girls. y at a friends and the friend of a friend who drove her there said she could stay on his couch b/c the gate was locked to the apartment building she was going to stay at. This guy got her home and pressured her and eventually she gave in she said. She said rape was to strong of a word. She said she loves me but now needs to figure out if she "loves me in that way" We still talk and we started counseling. The counselor has scheduled several sessions with her and has adived me she has "progression issues". She said she always looks forward to girls night out and likes being with her friends. She says I am the perfect husband and that she can't picture anyone else for her but me. Yet she needs to figure this out???? I am very confused. Am I just being blind to the fact that our marrige is over?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.

Hi Soccer,

I recommend giving it some time with the counselor. Your wife may have some PTSD from her situation with her untoward sexual experience. No one can tell right now if your marriage is over. Progression issues is a very general term, so there is no telling exactly what she is working on without asking her and her counselor.

Hang in there and give it some time.


Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks Anna, that is good advice. Should I try to get her to come home or let her have her space. It is hard to have my wife who I love so much not be home but on the other hand I am afraid I am setting myself up for the even worse heartbreak that is coming by her telling me our marrige is over. What normally happens when a spouse decides to leave. Is it usually already made up in there mind? I find hope that she wants to see the counselor and figure things out but am I being to optimistic. Should I prepare for the worst?
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.

Honestly, Soccer...there is no way to tell at this point, which is why you're feeling so anxious and worried. It could go either way - I'm sure she doesn't even know what she wants. Don't prepare for the worst or the best. Just take it one day at a time, and in 30 days put your periscope up and do an assessment with her and the counselor. You'll just torture yourself otherwise.

Don't be optimistic, don't be pessimistic - be in your daily life as it comes for 30 days and then see if anything is different.

Hang in there - don't lose hope just yet.

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