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Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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Ive been in a relationship for 6 years. He wants to break

Customer Question

I've been in a relationship for 6 years. He wants to break up but I need him to get better. Things will get worse for me, if we break up. I told him I would stop going to my psychologist (my last appt was 10/15). I would go back to her at anytime cause I like going to her for therapy. I would stop taking my med, with being with him I take it more often. We took tests on the internet and ALOT of them say to still work on it. My question is do you think it would be a great solution if we still worked on it after everything we put into it?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.

Saturn,

I hear you threatening him to harm yourself (by quitting therapy and medication) if he leaves you. That is like holding a gun to his head. You're not going to get a cooperative partner with behavior like that, you'll only get a hostage. If you really want the relationship to work, you have to use more mature measures.

I would recommend that he come with you to your counselor so that you can make a plan of action that respects both of you and can help you work it out. Holding him hostage with threats will only last a short while and he'll end up resenting you and leaving first chance he gets.

http://www.divorcehelpforparents.com/fair-fighting-rules.html This is a great list of how to resolve a conflict that has worked for many couples for years.

I understand that you may not like the opinion I have, but I don't say it to hurt you. You have to know the truth to get past this painful episode in your life. Hang in there and do the hard work it takes to show that you're willing to fight for the relationship instead of fighting him.

Thanks for the chance to answer your question today. If you would, please use the feedback form after accepting - I really appreciate it.

Anna

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