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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My GF of 11 years was sexually abused by a family member, shes

Customer Question

My GF of 11 years was sexually abused by a family member, shes always been very inward with her emotions, Plays games and is very bitchy. She says to me thats why i liek her coz shes a bitch.
Now she recently "went off the rails" stayed out for 3 nights drinking 4-5 times a week for 3 weeks, came back said she loved me, then i find shes seen at least two other people and slept with at least on of those, whilst i was with her the other day she was texting one of them behind my back.
She came back on Sunday and broke down said she had taken some drugs (Amphetamine i think) and that i was to save her and protect her from herself. She stayed in bed for 3 days saying she wouldnt get out again, we argued mostly the whole time, she would clam up and not give answers like she always does, until i get so emotional it explodes into a physical argument where i would grab her and yell at her to stop playing games and answer me. Then i went to get my daugter from school and she left again
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Morning,


It sounds like your girlfriend has a lot of issues possibly (some mental some substance abuse) Of course, it is possible for a person to act out and make poor choices without this being the case/cause.


Of what you are describing - her erratic behaviors, change in mood (staying in bed) and drug use could be indicative of untreated or undiagnosed mood disorder such as bipolar disorder. Also, possibly unresolved trauma from the abuse you've mentioned.

This is a lot to handle on your part (whether or not she has a disorder); just the behavior itself is something disappointing and undesirable.

If you have been together for quite some time, you know her better and how she acts and what her mood is like. It seems that she herself is either unsure of what she wants and what is going on with her emotionally or that she knows and is trying to get the best of both worlds (that of being in a committed relationships and that of being free to chose and do as she wants like a single woman would)

You could see if she would be willing to in for some therapy and a medication evaluation if needed. Without proper diagnosis and treatment, it is unlikely that she would get to fix these on her own.

Otherwise, you may find yourself in an unfortunate roller coaster with her (she had asked you to keep her safe )and there is just so much you could do.

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