Perhaps he does feel an attraction towards you, perhaps not. The main point here is that he is married.
It appears you may be reading too much into the comments he had made, or behaviors he has displayed.
If not, a few friendly comments in the office does not mean he will leave his wife.
It does not mean that he doesn't love his wife.
Unless you actually live with this man and his wife, you do not really know what is going on inside their home.
As long as he is married, perhaps it would be better if you looked for someone else for companionship.
In my opinion, it is better not to get started in a situation like this.
If you are lonely, perhaps you can join a dating service, (Make certain that they conduct thorough background checks and /or screenings, before you sign up.)
Also, perhaps there are clubs and organizations you can join in your community. This can be a great way to meet others.
Maybe you could look to join a 'support group' with other people who are still single. Many hospitals and healthcare facilities have 'referral services.'
If money is an issue, please mention this. Perhaps the 'referral service' could find a 'support group' where the fees will not be expensive, if any at all.
Finally, if you are unable to stop hoping to have a relationship with this man, maybe it would be best to start 'viewing the classifies' to look for another job.
You may want to seriously consider finding a new job, where you won't be confronted with this temptation everyday.
If not, if you do not want to relocate to another position, then you need to come to terms with the situation.
It appears from your comments that this man is devoted to his wife, and he does not want to leave her.
Further, as stated above, perhaps you are reading too much into the comments, and behaviors, he has made. This is a common mistake that many people make, you
are not alone.
With all of the time and effort you are spending thinking about this married man, there could be plenty of other wonderful men out there who are single, that you are allowing to pass you by.
You seem like a warm and highly intelligent individual, that I am certain many terrific men who are single, would find attractive.
You need to give yourself a chance.
Good luck!, and best wishes.
Legal Disclaimer: The information provided above, is general information only and is not intended to serve as a long, or short term, professional relationship. By providing the above information, I am not engaging in a 'relationship designee - client relationship' with you. The above information is only intended to provide general information. The fee that you may pay me, is for general information only. No part of this disclaimer can be reproduced, or copied, without the express consent of Rosemary S., the owner.
I am in receipt of your two replies. As requested, I am replying to your
My intent was not to make anyone feel uncomfortable or defensive.
I only had your best interest in mind when I answered your question.
I would suggest that you re-read my answer. It was not meant to judge you,
or make you feel angry. It was only meant to help you.
I have reviewed your question again, and I feel that I offered the correct opinion.
I can only reply to what is written in the question. As stated above, my intent was
to be helpful, and provide you with some information that you would find useful.
You have mentioned in one of your replies that you love your job, and would not leave it over a feeling.
Also, you mentioned that 'other people have picked up on the intensity between you and this man.'
Although I am not certain as to how this got started, you may want to be mindful not to engage in any discussions about this matter with your co-workers. If you have not thus far, this is good.
In offices, sometimes 'false rumors' get started and innocent people wind up having their reputations ruined. You do not want to find yourself in a situation where untrue gossip and rumors will begin being spread about you and this man. This could place any employee's job security in serious jeopardy.
In regard to the other question you posed in one of your replies regarding is it possible for someone to have strong feeling for someone else but won't say so because they know it is not okay?
Of course, in 'general terms', yes it is. Although I am not certain if this applies to your situation. But 'generally speaking,' of course it is possible.
I have no way of knowing if the comment he made about his sister is true, or just a facade. I do not want to focus on 'he said - she said.' In my opinion, this would not be helpful to you. It would be counterproductive.
As stated above, I hope my answers have been helpful. I only had the best of intentions when I answered them. They were not meant to pass judgement on you, or make you feel defensive.
In addition, sometimes it may be helpful to discuss your feelings with a 'mental health professional' in-person.
Perhaps the hospital in your area has a 'referral service,' or your 'primary care physician,' can help you find a 'competent mental health professional' who can address your concerns.
You may want to consider contacting a referral service, and/or a physician, who have no affiliation with the work place where you are currently employed. This can help keep the matter more private, and not interfere with your job. This is just a helpful suggestion.
Also, perhaps another expert at 'Just Answer' could provide you with another insight to your questions.
What is wonderful about 'Just Answer' is that they have several relationship, as well as mental health experts. Sometimes different perspectives can also be very beneficial.
Good luck!, and best wishes.