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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Hi, Im hoping you can help me with this. I dated my ex

Resolved Question:

Hi,

I'm hoping you can help me with this. I dated my ex for 5 months. He's a good guy and things were great between us for awhile. And then we started to fight alot mainly because I was insecure in the relationship. Things got so bad that he told me that he felt like he was "walking on egg shells" when he's around me. Two weeks ago he told me that his heart wasn't into it anymore and we broke up. He said he still cared about me and he still called me everyday. Last week I told him that it was too hard for me to be his friend right now and that I need time to deal with everything. He said he understood and that was the last time I talked to him. But now I'm confused because I miss him and I'm scared that I'll never hear from him again. How much time should I give before I contact him? Should I wait for him to contact me? I thought of writing him a letter but I don't know if that would work. How can I try to get him back and prove to him that I'll change? Or is it too late?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

Discord takes place in any relationship even seasoned ones. The fact that after 5 months you had started fighting is not unusual (people get used to each other, tension may build up, pleasing and impressing the other person is not longer a priority so, it happens) What also can happen though, if the two people are mutually invest in the relationship they both look for ways to improve it.

It seems that this did not take place on his part which can be seen as either immature and or that he truly is ready to leave the relationship.

On your part, you still find hope and hence want to get back with him. That may not be healthy. Of he wanted to come back what would stop him? It is a good idea to write the letter and express how you feel. Bottling feelings up is never healthy. As far as change, if he wants to work on the relationship, both can consider couple's counselor. Change is a very hard thing to do especially on your own. Also, you may have to see if he is willing to hang around while you are working on your change. Try to keep your expectations realistic and know that you like any one else is worth of being loved and being happy. When a man wants a woman he does not let her go.



Edited by Dr Rossi on 10/13/2009 at 12:22 PM EST
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