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Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I need to know if im crazy . Im 31 and my bf is 20 we are gay.

Customer Question

I need to know if im crazy . Im 31 and my bf is 20 we are gay. We have been togeher for 1yr 3 months. I want to know if its normal for me to feel the way i do. From day one our relationship has not been a sexual one and its not because of me its from him. He tells me he is not sexual and we have sex sometimes 1 time a week if that sometimes more and less. But here is the issue. He will go home and watch pornos and do things on webcam with tons of people. That wouldnt bother me normally because i know his age and i was the same. But if a person tells you they are not sexual but it can be nightly they are doing this.. To me that seems not fair and unjust. I am a sexual person and everytime we go to do sometimes he turns me down or complains im being mean to he is not in the mood. I treat him very well and i just want to know what might be wrong and how to approach it. Because we do have a loving relationship even though the age diference. How do u approach someone so hard to talk to
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 7 years ago.

Good Morning,


You are correct in your feelings to feel betrayed and disappointed by his behavior.

Different people find different things sexually stimulating (yet, if someone is in a relationship, they ought not to ignore the needs of the other person)

It seems that you have already let him know what you feel (but you are also desiring sexual intimacy not just a platonic relationship)

It may be best to see a counselor who specializes in gay issues and have face to face couple's therapy to help each one sort things out. Perhaps he would be willing to go with you. If not, there is not much anyone can do to change another person as that is solely up to that individual. Ask him where does he see the relationship heading in the long term and what is it that his expecting from it.

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