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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience:  PHD LPC
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was priorly married for 22 years,first wife died,remarried

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was priorly married for 22 years,first wife died,remarried just over 1 year now.i have 2 adult boys who live at my home, 1 17 yr old mentaly chalanged daughter who stays with my dead wifes mother,comes home for dinner with her brothers and i see them on weekends.i live with my new wife and her wife got a new kiddney and works long hours and even days extra than normal. my wifes mother has parkinsons and cant stand to be alone at night witch we both work,but not together. i try to be home at night with her mother every chance i get. i will try to go days to help this part of the probem. i have been going months with out no loven and im ready to just walk out and come back home. shes either to sick or to tired, but takes care of house work, mom,cats, and everything else but you no what. i help with above also, what to do
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 7 years ago.
Hi and welcome

Sounds like you guys are in a rut, a deep one. The way out is to put your marriage first as selfish as that may seem. It would also be a good idea to try marriage counseling which would provide an objective view of what is happening and what the two of you can do to change the circumstances. You both sound like very busy people, taking care of other people. For your marriage to even have a chance you need to make it your priority and your wife has to be in agreement with that. I am sure she is too tired to be intimate based on all she is doing. But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't expect more from the marriage. Ask her for a date, if you acted differently before you got married try and do that again, pick a day and time in the near future to spend some time alone (but don't make a bee line to the bedroom) a little conversation, dinner, and then some intimate time. If that doesn't work and marriage counseling doesn't help then maybe you need to go to counseling alone and decide what it is you want to do.
I hope this helps.
Dr. Keane
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