You are touching on few issues here
1) your own autonomy
2) her feelings that do not match yours (in regard to intimacy)
3) your search for meaningful work
These are valid issues. It seems that you know what you want but are hesitant because that will afflict her. In the long run though, you will be doing both a favor because if one person is living a lie and is miserable than that is not an authentic relationship. Both of you can be happy otherwise (you pursuing what you wish out of life, her connecting with someone who is more compatible with her )
If you are unsure of what to do, the two of you could have couple's therapy (yet that is only helpful if you want to keep the relationship and to improve it)
Otherwise, you may benefit from some soul searching and pursuing what you believe will make you content.
Yes, it is important to work with someone who has experience in the area(s) you're seeking help in.
If you have commercial insurance, you may want to go to the website where they list the providers and they list their specialties. You can also phone the insurance and inquire who has listed that specialty (usually it goes under Gay/Lesbian)
I am not familiar with a specific provider in SC.