How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Keane Your Own Question

Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1722
Experience:  PHD LPC
14832673
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr. Keane is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over 9 years.

Resolved Question:

I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over 9 years. 4 years dating and 5 living together. We get a long great have had maybe 5 or 6 disagreements in all those years. Love each other, everything is great! HE brought up getting married about 6 years ago. We have talked about it and agreed it's something we want. (he's never been married (47, i'm divorced with 2 grown children(45). This is the only problem we have. He says all the time we "should get married". I tell him okay get a ring and propose and he says "okay I will". He never has. When I confront him (about once a year) it's like I'm twisting his arm and he says "okay okay I'll get a ring, we'll get married".BUT NEVER HAS. It's driving me nuts because when I ask him why he hasn't, he just says okay I will now and has never given an explanation of why he hasn't. He drives me crazy...he's even picked the date and that has come and gone so many time. what do I do now?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
Good Morning,

It sounds like you two have a great relationship. If he is the one who says "should get married" he may not be able to do this on his own, that is, the ring etc. He really has proposed already, just not down on one knee. If you want to see this happen then you may have to be part and parcel of the formality of a proposal and TAKE him to go pick out a ring. He is frozen when it comes to this part of the "deal", don't try to figure out why he can't follow through because he doesn't know himself.
If you want to get married you are going to have to take on being the main "doer:..he'll do it, but needs you to get him to actually start the ball rolling.
At 47 years of age getting married for the first time you would think it's a committment issue but it's not since the two of you have been together for over 9 years. It's something that he wants too.
I wish you could have the desired proposal, ring and all that goes with it but in my experience as a therapist with guys like this, if you want to get married you can't wait for them to get around to it.
So go for it, it's quirky I know but you can have fun with it and get married!
I hope this helps.
Dr. Keane
please click ACCEPT and leave FEEDBACK when you are satisfied.
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1722
Experience: PHD LPC
Dr. Keane and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
i just wanted to let you know that i took your advice and he said yes without hesitation or blink of an eye and then officially proposed to me. we plan on getting married on christmas eve when my children come to visit. he said i can plan whatever i want the only things he asks for are a quick ceremony and mexican food! thank you so much!!!
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.
Well congratulations!!! Sometimes they just need a little "push" and you did it! I like the Mexican food idea!!! I wish you both the happiness you deserve!!!!
Have a wonderful wedding!!!
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1722
Experience: PHD LPC
Dr. Keane and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1580
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1580
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    914
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/NP/nphbrown/2012-7-30_24048_ImYrManSerious1.64x64.jpg Dr. Norman Brown's Avatar

    Dr. Norman Brown

    Marriage Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    377
    Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    364
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/AL/aliciamiller/2012-4-9_21330_profilepicture.64x64.jpg Alicia_MSW's Avatar

    Alicia_MSW

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    331
    Specializing in relationship/family counseling
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    320
    Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
321 Satisfied Customers
PHD LPC