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Walter, Relationship Mentor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring couples on relationship issue and self understanding. (JA's Relationship Mentor)
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I have long suspected my husband of lying and cheating. Now

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I have long suspected my husband of lying and cheating. Now I have found a civil court case against him. It is like he is two different people. I am afraid of him. If I ask him anything about his personal life. He explodes. I feel like a roommate with privileges. It is kinda scary. I don't know if he is involved in something shady or illegal. This suit goes back to 1999. We have been married since 1981.

I hear him talking at night real late. He is sweet and loving to who ever he speaks to. I have heard him say that I (meaning me) do not care as long as I get some. (sex I guess) I am disturbed to think that the man I married was not person I thought he was.

He shares nothing with me. I am like a roommate. Please help me.



The help you need is already there............its in you and only you can help yourself. You know he has been unfaithful to you, and you know he is not being honest with you. He is treating you not as a wife, but as a stranger so my question to you is why are you still being his wife?


I can not tell you what to do, in the end only you can make that choice. But hanging around in a situation where you know you are being treated badly isn't helping you or him. I know how hard it is to walk away, when you have invested yourself in someone for a number of years walking away into the unknown can be scary. But right now you have a limited amount of choices. You can either walk away or you can try to work on your marriage.


What I would suggest is sitting down and giving some real thought about what you want in a partner and where you want to be in 5 years. Then look at who he is and how he fits into what you want and where you want to be. Once you have done that you can be better prepared on where to go from here. I would suggest sitting down and talking to him, let him know where you are right now and what you want and need. This will give him a chance to see how his actions are hurting you, and how he needs to change them if he wants this marriage to work out. If you decide to stay I would strongly recommend marriage counseling so you both can work on where your marriage went wrong and how to keep it on tract.



Edited by Walter on 9/20/2009 at 1:01 PM EST
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